5
10
66
-
https://archive.ncfr.org/files/original/25949b9ba01accee9ecb6f5ff1f8bf26.pdf
f9592a2435f64fc91e5ef47320d52dbf
PDF Text
Text
New mammography newswhat's best for breasts?
by Nancy Gonzalez, CFLE
Posted by Nancy Gonzalez | November 19, 2009
These past couple of days, there has been a firestorm of reaction to the new recommendations just released from the U.S. Preventive
Services Task Force about mammography and breast health.
Briefly, the newest recommendations state that routine mammography is not necessary for women under age 50. There are other
recommendations, but among those that surprised me the most is the recommendation that teaching breast selfexamination should be
brought to an end as well. Beginning as a teenager, I have had it pounded into my head that once a month we were supposed to examine our
breasts in the shower.
Disclaimer: NCFR is not a medical organization, and we do not disseminate any recommendations outside of our professional organization's
areas of expertise. As a blogger, I have no medical credentials either. I will give no medical advice. However, I do have two breasts
which entitles me to have an opinion... and to be just as confusedand angryas any other woman.
Even though NCFR is not in the cancer screening business, cancer is a family matter. I thought that it might be helpful to collect some of the
official sources of information as well as some of the commentary from other organizationsand from women themselvesfor the convenience
of our members, so that the information is accessible from one site.
Here is the actual information from the US Preventive Task Force (USPTF) that touched off the controversy:
http://www.ahrq.gov/clinic/uspstf/uspsbrca.htm#summary
Here is a CNN story about it: http://www.cnn.com/2009/HEALTH/11/16/mammography.recommendation.changes/index.html
Here is how the American Cancer Society is weighing inthey are resisting the change:
http://www.cancer.org/docroot/MED/content/MED_2_1x_American_Cancer_Society_Responds_to_Changes_to_USPSTF_Mammography_Guidelines.asp
Here is the official position of the American College of Obstetrics and Gynecology (ACOG), whose protocols will also remain unchanged:
http://www.acog.org/from_home/Misc/uspstfResponse.cfm
ACOG has a good summary of the rationale for the USPTF's change: that having routine mammography has its own risks... "the harms
assessed by the USPTF were radiation exposure, falsepositive and falsenegative results, overdiagnosis, pain during procedures, and
anxiety, distress, and other psychologic responses." Even breast self examination has "risks": women feel what they perceive as a lump and
it requires mammographyand then the resultant radiation, false results, biopsies and several days of fright. However, ACOG's official position
after the USPTF's news was that ACOG's recommendations will not be changing.
I understand the basics of statistical assessment of this issue, and that epidemiology is based on numbers from the aggregate of studying a
huge number of women. That doesn't mean that each of us doesn't have a half dozen anecdotes of a friend, neighbor or coworker, under age
50, who found her own malignant lump or had it picked up on a mammogram. This "anecdotal evidence" is pretty emotionallycharged.
Without mammography in her early 40s, I would not have one of my dearest friends today. One of my aunts found her lump herself. However,
I am one who had the kind of results the USPTF is concerned aboutI had a suspicious lump found by mammogram at age 45. I had a core
biopsy (not painful), but I did have several days of official freakout waiting for the results.
What is causing me more freakout now is the confusion. Across all of these organizations that we are supposed to trust, there is no
consensus. Surprisingly, I am reading very little about using a women's family history as a factor in the decision. Worse yet, I worry about the
implications these new recommendations may have about insurance coverage for screening for those whose doctors recommend it.
ACOG notes that although heart disease is the highest risk for death in women, "surveys have shown that women are more concerned about
their risk of breast cancer than heart disease, which is more common." We are concerned. In my opinion, trying to keep us from unnecessary
worry is a moot point. We already worry. Women don't run races and sport pink ribbons for nothing. The website of the "pink ribbon" people
Susan Komen for the Cureoffers perhaps the most calm and compassionate assessment of the controversy.
http://ww5.komen.org/KomenNewsArticle.aspx?id=6442451500 .
What am I going to do? I'm going to listen to my doctor.
�National Council on Family Relations | 1201 West River Parkway · Suite 200 · Minneapolis, MN 55454 · 888.781.9331
Privacy Policy | Terms of Use | © 2017. All rights reserved.
Web design by Gorton Studios
�
Dublin Core
The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/.
Title
A name given to the resource
N equals 1 blog
Identifier
An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context
n-equals-1
Description
An account of the resource
<p>Hello! I'm NCFR's blogger, Nancy Gonzalez. I am the former director of public affairs for NCFR<em>.</em> I have a Master's in Family Life Education from the University of Minnesota, and I'm a Certified Family Life Educator. I'm married to a great guy named George, a software engineer, and mother to our college age son, Eric. Our family also consists of a Border Collie named Beau and two calico kitties, Shelley and Shirley. I knew I wanted to study families at age 16. My blog is entitled <em>"The N = 1 Experiment"</em> to emphasize that my "findings" are anecdotal and therefore are my "1 person reflections." The topics I write about are based on the family studies field, my own family, current events, memoir and humor. Its contents are my opinion and my responsibility alone and not the official position of NCFR as an organization. I invite your comments!</p>
<p><em>The views expressed in this blog may not represent the views of the entire NCFR organization. </em></p>
Text
A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text.
Dublin Core
The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/.
Title
A name given to the resource
New mammography news--what's best for breasts?
Description
An account of the resource
These past couple of days, there has been a firestorm of reaction to the new recommendations just released from the U.S. Preventive Services Task Force about mammography and breast health.
Creator
An entity primarily responsible for making the resource
Nancy Gonzalez, CFLE
Identifier
An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context
new-mammography-news-whats-best-breasts
Date
A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource
November 19, 2009
-
https://archive.ncfr.org/files/original/8332b939fa37a6abb0cf8a613fa4901b.pdf
7ae154679dc3a0942f4dc5c881e20f3c
PDF Text
Text
Nicked by Occam's Razor
by Nancy Gonzalez, CFLE
Posted by Nancy Gonzalez | June 03, 2009
Family life and running a household has occasionally driven me to the brink, particularly when we had a
small child. It still gets overwhelming at times when we are trying to balance work and other commitments.
What I have found is that "the little things" can provide a steady dripdripdrip irritation that sometimes
seems as exasperating as larger troubles. In the past couple of years, I've made a conscious effort to "keep
it simple." There's a principle in Philosophy called Occam's Razor, named after William Ockham, who was a
brilliant philosopher but evidently did not know how to spell. Occam's Razor states basically that "the
simplest explanation for something is probably the most accurate." It's also stretched to include the idea
that "keeping it simple" makes good sense. Quoting from Wikipedia, "Originally a tenet of the reductionist
philosophy of nominalism, it is more often taken today as a heuristic maxim (rule of thumb) that advises
economy, parsimony, or simplicity, often or especially in scientific theories."
My take on Occam's Razor is twofold; In my world, my goal is to 1) eliminate as many trifling irritations as
possible, and 2) when I must carry out some task, I keep it as simple as I can. This has really helped my
stress level. Let me give a couple of examples.
One annoyance that used to drive me to the edge was locating the remote controls. They were always lost.
Someone would walk off with it absentmindedly and leave it in another room. Or it would fall under the sofa
cushions. Unlike the cordless phone, they do not have a "page" locator button that beeps. Hunting for
remotes just whipped me into a frenzy. I preached daily about keeping it on the coffeetable in front of the
sofa, but I was wasting my breath. Then I got a fabulous idea.
I bought a wooden cutting board that's approximately the size of a standard piece of paper, 8 ½ X 11. It is
about ½ inch thick. I got some adhesive Velcro® from the hardware store and glued the remote to this large
chunk of wood that wouldn't fall under the sofa cushions. The remote is now too big to carry to the next
room or stuff into a drawer. With Velcro®, the remote can be detached to change the batteries, but
otherwise the bond is secure. Problem solved!
Another needless irritation was trying to educate my husband and son about the difference between a
dishrag and a hand towel. A dishrag is square, it's used for wiping counters and it's approximately 9" X 9".
A hand towel is rectangular and it's for drying hands. It's about 20" X 10" or so. Invariably, when the guys
needed to wipe the counters, they would reach into the linen drawer and pull out the first cloth they saw
which, half the time, was the bigger hand towel. Then they would wipe the counters and leave a huge,
nasty, sopping wet towel in the sink. I was furious. Again, harping and carping got me nowhere. It was time
to make an end run around themI got rid of ALL the hand towels in the house. Now when the guys reach
into the linen drawer, they only find dishrags, and they don't know the difference. Make no mistakeI'm
grateful they wipe up the counters. But now I have eliminated the problem. What joy!
�If I had to give some advice to young housekeepers just starting out, I would advise them to stop and think
about ways in which they could make a bothersome situation completely avoidable. I swearnagging and
frustration probably went down 20% when I started thinking this way. Bathroom light left on all the time?
Have a timed switch installed that shuts the light off after 15 minutes. Can't keep a pen next to the phone?
Make up a chain or shoelace tether that prevents it from growing legs. I am "a place for everything and
everything in its place" person. But I live with two people who aren't. Establishing just a few of these simple
household systems have kept me from going crazy.
Finally, I have learned that there are some things I just need to put under lock and keyitems that will
disappear if they aren't nailed down. The guys mean well. They love and respect me and intend to return
my possessions. But they get sidetracked... So I have a drawer with a combination lock. Here I store my
small kit of precision tools, my good scissors, tape, superglue, clippers, $20 emergency pizza delivery
money, my small stash of chocolate (shhh!) and a several more items that I don't want to tear the house
apart looking for. [Sigh and smile]. My morale went up and my blood pressure went down.
Take my advice. Don't lose another remote! Never search for a Phillipshead screwdriver again! And
whatever you donever be without Occam's Razor.
National Council on Family Relations | 1201 West River Parkway · Suite 200 · Minneapolis, MN 55454 · 888.781.9331
Privacy Policy | Terms of Use | © 2017. All rights reserved.
Web design by Gorton Studios
�
Dublin Core
The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/.
Title
A name given to the resource
N equals 1 blog
Identifier
An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context
n-equals-1
Description
An account of the resource
<p>Hello! I'm NCFR's blogger, Nancy Gonzalez. I am the former director of public affairs for NCFR<em>.</em> I have a Master's in Family Life Education from the University of Minnesota, and I'm a Certified Family Life Educator. I'm married to a great guy named George, a software engineer, and mother to our college age son, Eric. Our family also consists of a Border Collie named Beau and two calico kitties, Shelley and Shirley. I knew I wanted to study families at age 16. My blog is entitled <em>"The N = 1 Experiment"</em> to emphasize that my "findings" are anecdotal and therefore are my "1 person reflections." The topics I write about are based on the family studies field, my own family, current events, memoir and humor. Its contents are my opinion and my responsibility alone and not the official position of NCFR as an organization. I invite your comments!</p>
<p><em>The views expressed in this blog may not represent the views of the entire NCFR organization. </em></p>
Text
A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text.
Dublin Core
The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/.
Title
A name given to the resource
Nicked Occam's Razor
Creator
An entity primarily responsible for making the resource
Nancy Gonzalez, CFLE
Identifier
An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context
nicked-occams-razor
Date
A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource
June 03, 2009
-
https://archive.ncfr.org/files/original/450d90f64a5a6af701568050ddf7ad53.pdf
df0643f0fecccb66e6cdabac3e53c118
PDF Text
Text
One kid, two kid, red kid, blue kid choosing the size
of your family
By Nancy Gonzalez, CFLE
Posted by Nancy Gonzalez | March 07, 2012
In this election cycle, for the first time in my adult life, family planning issues are
front and center. I never expected contraception to be part of the political discourse,
especially contraception practiced by a married couple. I can't think of a more
personalor more importantdecision for couples to consider. Whether parents are
in red states or blue states, this choice has social, ethnic and religious influences
that are very, very strong. One of our NCFR members just wrote a book to help
people think though this crucial decision.
Creating Your Perfect Family Size by Alan Singer, Ph.D. is a selfhelp book, but it's
based on research on issues of family size. I'll be a spoiler straight off and say that
Dr. Singer (pictured) will not tell you what your perfect family size should be. What
he does is introduce all of the factors that couples have used in making this decision and present other
factors that couples may not have thought about. As he says, "In my experience, the decision about how
many children you and your partner should have ranks right up there with choices about career, religion and
where you want to live."
What are the common issues prospective parents think about?
Social pressures, such as providing grandchildren for one's parents
Not being alone as an elder
Having a second child so that the other child won't be alone
Having a child to cement together a blended Brady Bunch kind of family
How far apart to space their pregnancies
Probably the most useful aspect of the book is how he explodes the myths involved with this decision. A
childor another childwill not increase your marital satisfaction. "Only" children aren't doomed to being
spoiled brats. And this is an obvious one, but one I've heard quite often, when the parents of a boy say they
are going to "try for a girl" or vice versa. Your chances don't improveeach pregnancy is a new 5050 roll of
the dice.
Personally, I zeroed in on the section about "only" children. My husband and I have just one child, a son. He
is in college and is the delight of our lives. However, his early childhood nearly finished us off. He wasn't a
sleeper and didn't sleep through the night until he was two. He was extremely squirrelly and into everything
from the moment he learned to crawl. He was a wanderer. For about three years, my husband had to sleep
downstairs on the couch and I slept upstairsthis was to make sure we had a set of ears on each floor so
�we would be awakened if he started "cooking" or, my worst fear, letting himself out into a subzero
Minnesota night. When he was three, my husband and I made the difficult decision that we were done with
toddlers. We decided we would feel really accomplished if our son made it to adulthood successfully.
We went through all of the factors individually, and sometimes painfully. We were good parents, and if we
could have a guarantee that Baby #2 would be of calm temperament, we could manage it. But life offers no
guarantees. We had to make a decision based on known facts at the time. We were maxedout. If we had a
second child as squirrelly as our first, we would be quite overwhelmed. As it turns out, the same
characteristics that made our son so active are the same that feed his incredibly quick wit, his critical
thinking skills and his intellectual curiosity. But what were we to know back then?
The book is replete with selftests that prospective parents can use to help themselves think through this
important decision. I wish I had been able to read this book twenty years ago when I was facing this
quandary. We still would have made the same decision, but we would have been more informed as to what
we were doing and would have done less secondguessing ourselves.
Dr. Singer has some informative videos on YouTube, too. It's a helpful book!
The author welcomes your feedback. Contact him directly with questions and comments at
dralansinger@aol.com or visit his website at www.FamilyThinking.com .
National Council on Family Relations | 1201 West River Parkway · Suite 200 · Minneapolis, MN 55454 · 888.781.9331
Privacy Policy | Terms of Use | © 2017. All rights reserved.
Web design by Gorton Studios
�
Dublin Core
The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/.
Title
A name given to the resource
N equals 1 blog
Identifier
An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context
n-equals-1
Description
An account of the resource
<p>Hello! I'm NCFR's blogger, Nancy Gonzalez. I am the former director of public affairs for NCFR<em>.</em> I have a Master's in Family Life Education from the University of Minnesota, and I'm a Certified Family Life Educator. I'm married to a great guy named George, a software engineer, and mother to our college age son, Eric. Our family also consists of a Border Collie named Beau and two calico kitties, Shelley and Shirley. I knew I wanted to study families at age 16. My blog is entitled <em>"The N = 1 Experiment"</em> to emphasize that my "findings" are anecdotal and therefore are my "1 person reflections." The topics I write about are based on the family studies field, my own family, current events, memoir and humor. Its contents are my opinion and my responsibility alone and not the official position of NCFR as an organization. I invite your comments!</p>
<p><em>The views expressed in this blog may not represent the views of the entire NCFR organization. </em></p>
Text
A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text.
Dublin Core
The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/.
Title
A name given to the resource
One kid, two kid, red kid, blue kid - choosing the size of your family
Description
An account of the resource
In this election cycle, for the first time in my adult life, family planning issues are front and center. I never expected contraception to be part of the political discourse, especially contraception practiced by a married couple. I can't think of a more personal--or more important--decision for couples to consider. Whether parents are in red states or blue states, this choice has social, ethnic and religious influences that are very, very strong. One of our NCFR members just wrote a book to help people think though this crucial decision.
Creator
An entity primarily responsible for making the resource
Nancy Gonzalez, CFLE
Identifier
An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context
one-kid-two-kid-red-kid-blue-kid-choosing-size-your-family-0
Date
A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource
March 07, 2012
-
https://archive.ncfr.org/files/original/ab4c75ece823998d238b729e566a9aa8.pdf
dfdf6067e8aae7e228e317ccc52c8246
PDF Text
Text
That One Moment in TimeWhitney Houston and the
soundtrack of my life
By Nancy Gonzalez, CFLE
Posted by Nancy Gonzalez | February 13, 2012
This week one of the world's most beautiful voices fell silent forever.
Tragically, Whitney Houston passed away at the age of 48. People in
the social and broadcast media have been weighing in on what I will
term "What Whitney meant to me." Whitney will always be part of the
soundtrack of my life.
There's no higher praise I could have for her than to disclose that
"Whitney" was the name I had picked out for our son had he been born
our daughter. Two of her songs spoke to me so meaningfully that they
moved me to tears. One, The Greatest Love of All, was popular at a
painful time in my life and it inspired me by speaking the exact words I
needed to hear.
The other song that was so special to me was One Moment in Time. The lyrics describe the joy of reaching
the highest goal one could set for oneself.
I want one moment in time
When I'm more than I thought I could be
When all of my dreams are a heartbeat away
And the answers are all up to me
The music video on YouTube features a clip montage of Olympic Gold Medalists achieving their dreams.
The achievement of my dream is not Olympic Gold, but it was the most meaningful day outside of my
wedding day and the day I became a mother. It was the day I finished my Master's degree.
One day in early 1991, I had an odd spontaneous thought that seemed to come from nowhere. It was, "I
want a Master's degree." Graduate school was not a "script" I had coming from my familymy older sister
and my younger brother are both more intelligent. I was an unremarkable student from rural, workingclass
Minnesota. Getting a Bachelor's degree was almost miraculous for me. A Master's? Could I really? I had
a husband, a small child and a job. How could I? I don't know where the thought came from, but it was so
strong. I just knew I would do it. The fall of 1991, I took my first class.
It was early winter in 1996 when I found out that the University of Minnesota's College of Education had a
contest to be commencement speaker at the college's graduation ceremony. I was scheduled to graduate in
that ceremony in spring 1996. The task was to write a speech and submit it to a committee in the college
�who chose the student speaker. Once again, I had a strong inspired inner voice that spoke. "I am going to
win that contest!" I thought. It came to me from nowhere. I applied. And I won.
Whitney Houston's One Moment in Time perfectly captures that moment for me. There I was, with my
humorous speech all written out. I was at the podium in the university's Northrup Auditorium (pictured). I
was almost numb with the thought that its stage had seen Mikhail Baryshnikov dance and Aretha Franklin
sing. Now, for 10 minutes, it was mine. It was packed with over 4000 people. My husband George and our
8 year old son Eric were allowed to stand in the wings to watch me. As I was about to speak, I glanced over
at Eric who gave me the "thumbs up." I got a chance to tell the worldespecially my sonhow sacred
education is. I also found my writing voice and my favorite genre, humor. There was just nothing like it. A
huge auditorium of people laughed at my jokes and memoir. I will never have a moment of personal
achievement like that again.
Whitney described that One Moment in Time like no one else ever will.
Now I work with scholars every day. Many have Ph.D.s and speak to huge audiences all the time. I'm
nothing special. But that moment I was "more than I thought I could be." I'd love a Ph.D., but it's not going
to happen. The inspired thought isn't coming. I'm not complaining. We all peak at some point, and that was
mine. That's OK. I look forward to many wonderful moments to come in my lifemy son's graduation from
college and holding a grandchild for the first time come to mind. But both of those are up to my son and
God, not me. I would just like to leave my reader with some advice from someone who had the opportunity
of a lifetime. That One Moment in Time only happened to me once. When that spontaneous thought comes
from nowhere, and "all of your dreams are a heartbeat away," listen to it. Carpe diem.
Epilogue
One of the ironies of my commencement speech is that I can't post it because I can't find a copy. It wasn't
recorded, and I wrote it on a Macintosh and lost it when our family transferred files to the PC. I'm hoping
that someday I find a printed copy somewhere in my belongings.
Flickr photo of Northrop courtesy of Michael Hicks
National Council on Family Relations | 1201 West River Parkway · Suite 200 · Minneapolis, MN 55454 · 888.781.9331
Privacy Policy | Terms of Use | © 2017. All rights reserved.
Web design by Gorton Studios
�
Dublin Core
The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/.
Title
A name given to the resource
N equals 1 blog
Identifier
An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context
n-equals-1
Description
An account of the resource
<p>Hello! I'm NCFR's blogger, Nancy Gonzalez. I am the former director of public affairs for NCFR<em>.</em> I have a Master's in Family Life Education from the University of Minnesota, and I'm a Certified Family Life Educator. I'm married to a great guy named George, a software engineer, and mother to our college age son, Eric. Our family also consists of a Border Collie named Beau and two calico kitties, Shelley and Shirley. I knew I wanted to study families at age 16. My blog is entitled <em>"The N = 1 Experiment"</em> to emphasize that my "findings" are anecdotal and therefore are my "1 person reflections." The topics I write about are based on the family studies field, my own family, current events, memoir and humor. Its contents are my opinion and my responsibility alone and not the official position of NCFR as an organization. I invite your comments!</p>
<p><em>The views expressed in this blog may not represent the views of the entire NCFR organization. </em></p>
Text
A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text.
Dublin Core
The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/.
Title
A name given to the resource
That One Moment in Time--Whitney Houston and the soundtrack of my life
Description
An account of the resource
This week one of the world's most beautiful voices fell silent forever. Tragically, Whitney Houston passed away at the age of 48. People in the social and broadcast media have been weighing in on what I will term "What Whitney meant to me." Whitney will always be part of the soundtrack of my life. I had that One Moment in Time.
Creator
An entity primarily responsible for making the resource
Nancy Gonzalez, CFLE
Identifier
An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context
one-moment-time-whitney-houston-and-soundtrack-my-life
Date
A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource
February 13, 2012
-
https://archive.ncfr.org/files/original/d31ef4633ac430578ea6508a7d4d8e04.pdf
5a01ee534056375c4eb0b26fde050cb4
PDF Text
Text
The Password is...
by Nancy Gonzalez, CFLE
Posted by Nancy Gonzalez | October 15, 2009
I haven't posted a blog in over two weeks. I've been sick for a month with an underlying condition, that I
won't go into since it will soon be completely ameliorated, and nothing's so boring as hearing about
someone's aches and pains. I recall one of our NCFR conference speakers from a few years back who
talked about the health problems associated with aging that will mushroom now that the Baby Boomers are
growing older. He said that the list of complaints sounds like an "organ recital." His wisecrack was a hit with
the audience.
Now I have the upper respiratory crud that I caught from a coworker, thank you very much John Pepper. It's
not H1N1; no fever. But my voice sounds like Darth Vader, and I feel like a dishragwrung out.
There seems to be broad agreement that immune systems are compromised by stress. Hans Selye's
famous theories about stress indicated that "Distress" vs. "Eustress" (good stress) can be affected by the
individual's perception of the event. White coat folks tell us that distress makes us all more susceptible to
opportunistic infections.
What stresses me out? One source of distress for me, and maybe for you, is all of the passwords I'm
expected to memorize to conduct daily living. Here are some. Of course they're all different and all weird.
The code on the garage key pad.
The code on the entry door at NCFR.
My password to sign onto our server for email and WWW.
My password for our Association database.
My password to sign onto our online academic journals.
The passwords for my personal Facebook and Twitter pages.
The passwords for the NCFR Facebook and NCFR's twitter pages.
My passwords for other association memberships.
My password for online banking.
My "pin" number for my cash card.
The code to unlock my cell phone/PDA.
The password to our home voicemail.
�The password that allows my laptop to fire up.
There have to be more that I'm forgetting. It's oppressive. Not only that, many of them ask me to choose a
new password every few weeks. I wonder if someday each of us will have some kind of universal
password?
This reminds me of the old TV show "Password." It was a fun game show that featured Hollywood stars
competing against ordinary folks. Here's a YouTube clip: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DOW9elO_lkc
It's been out as a home board game for decades and is a lot of fun to play. But, sadly, my husband and I
haven't played it in years. It was early in our marriage when we last played this game. The object of the
game is to give your partner a one word clue and have them guess what the "real word" the passwordis.
We didn't do very well, because he gave such screwball clues! (He would say the same about mine!) Let's
say the word he was trying to get me to say is "cabbage." Here's how it would've gone, many years ago.
George: lettuce
Nancy: salad
George: red
Nancy: tomato
George: gas
Nancy: You're deranged. I have no idea where you're going with this.
George: Sauerkraut
Nancy: cabbage!
It always took us a minimum of three tries. Now, however, many years have gone by, and we should try it
again. Like all longmarried couples, we now speak in a shorthand language that is full of inside jokes and
references known only to the two of us. We finish each other's sentences which, after all, is the whole
purpose of the Password game. Now in middle age, we could probably trounce a younger couple at
Password.
Oldyweds? Want some Eustress? Try a round of Password with some newlyweds.
National Council on Family Relations | 1201 West River Parkway · Suite 200 · Minneapolis, MN 55454 · 888.781.9331
Privacy Policy | Terms of Use | © 2017. All rights reserved.
Web design by Gorton Studios
�
Dublin Core
The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/.
Title
A name given to the resource
N equals 1 blog
Identifier
An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context
n-equals-1
Description
An account of the resource
<p>Hello! I'm NCFR's blogger, Nancy Gonzalez. I am the former director of public affairs for NCFR<em>.</em> I have a Master's in Family Life Education from the University of Minnesota, and I'm a Certified Family Life Educator. I'm married to a great guy named George, a software engineer, and mother to our college age son, Eric. Our family also consists of a Border Collie named Beau and two calico kitties, Shelley and Shirley. I knew I wanted to study families at age 16. My blog is entitled <em>"The N = 1 Experiment"</em> to emphasize that my "findings" are anecdotal and therefore are my "1 person reflections." The topics I write about are based on the family studies field, my own family, current events, memoir and humor. Its contents are my opinion and my responsibility alone and not the official position of NCFR as an organization. I invite your comments!</p>
<p><em>The views expressed in this blog may not represent the views of the entire NCFR organization. </em></p>
Text
A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text.
Dublin Core
The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/.
Title
A name given to the resource
The Password is...
Description
An account of the resource
What stresses me out? One source of distress for me, and maybe for you, is all of the passwords I'm expected to memorize to conduct daily living.
Creator
An entity primarily responsible for making the resource
Nancy Gonzalez, CFLE
Identifier
An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context
password
Date
A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource
October 15, 2009
-
https://archive.ncfr.org/files/original/726678cf87e422e64374b51e648e288c.pdf
33c4804f2adcbf34fdd8aea46c66828e
PDF Text
Text
The Perfunctory Greeting Card Company
Posted by Nancy Gonzalez | August 20, 2009
By Nancy Gonzalez, CFLE
My husband and a friend were talking other night. We got on the subject of families, and since I work in "the
biz," people often ask me what the research in the field reveals about this or that. This friend has an
"Ordinary People" type of familythe kind from the Judith Guest novel of the same name.
Login Now to view this page
Email
Password
go
Don't have an account?
Become a member »
NCFR members enjoy member benefits such as the Professional Resources Library, online access to the NCFR
journals (if your membership level includes a journal description), online member directory, inclusion in online
discussion forums, and "NCFR Report," the quarterly magazine. Members also receive discounts on conference
registration, books and materials, and Certified Family Life Educator fees.
National Council on Family Relations | 1201 West River Parkway · Suite 200 · Minneapolis, MN 55454 · 888.781.9331
Privacy Policy | Terms of Use | © 2017. All rights reserved.
Web design by Gorton Studios
�
Dublin Core
The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/.
Title
A name given to the resource
N equals 1 blog
Identifier
An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context
n-equals-1
Description
An account of the resource
<p>Hello! I'm NCFR's blogger, Nancy Gonzalez. I am the former director of public affairs for NCFR<em>.</em> I have a Master's in Family Life Education from the University of Minnesota, and I'm a Certified Family Life Educator. I'm married to a great guy named George, a software engineer, and mother to our college age son, Eric. Our family also consists of a Border Collie named Beau and two calico kitties, Shelley and Shirley. I knew I wanted to study families at age 16. My blog is entitled <em>"The N = 1 Experiment"</em> to emphasize that my "findings" are anecdotal and therefore are my "1 person reflections." The topics I write about are based on the family studies field, my own family, current events, memoir and humor. Its contents are my opinion and my responsibility alone and not the official position of NCFR as an organization. I invite your comments!</p>
<p><em>The views expressed in this blog may not represent the views of the entire NCFR organization. </em></p>
Text
A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text.
Dublin Core
The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/.
Title
A name given to the resource
The Perfunctory Greeting Card Company
Description
An account of the resource
My husband and a friend were talking other night.We got on the subject of families, and since I work in "the biz," people often ask me what the research in the field reveals about this or that. This friend has an "Ordinary People" type of family-the kind from the Judith Guest novel of the same name.
Creator
An entity primarily responsible for making the resource
Nancy Gonzalez, CFLE
Identifier
An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context
perfunctory-greeting-card-company
Date
A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource
August 20, 2009
-
https://archive.ncfr.org/files/original/ae16d46861b0a5cd925454eb069482de.pdf
e889784b09b0ea68f6a646989471b577
PDF Text
Text
Putting Men into Mentoring
by Nancy Gonzalez, CFLE
Posted by Nancy Gonzalez | May 12, 2009
My husband asked me a question recently that was rather depressing.
We live about 3 blocks away from our suburb's largest park. He walks
our dog to the park, makes a loop around and heads back homeabout
1.5 miles. About twothirds of the way, there's a park bench. He likes to
sit down for a few minuteshe's a diabetic, and it's the perfect point in
his walk to assess whether he needs a hit of glucose before he walks
home.
The depressing question he asked me was: "If I sit for a few minutes on
that bench, will I look creepy?" The reason he asked is that the bench
in question is right next to the playground. Not only does the bench put
him in close proximity to playing children, our Border Collie is an
absolute magnet for kids. Within a couple minutes, kids crowd around
"Jackie" and ask my husband, "Can I pet your dog?" Jackie loves
humans of all ages, so she's a big hit at the park.
His question was quite revealing, especially in light of the book I was reading: Men on a Mission by NCFR
member William "Bill" Marsiglio (pictured). I told my husband that I was reading a book that addressed his
fears exactlyand the potential cost of having those fears. Bill's book is all about male "generativity"the
term that theorist Erik Erikson coined for the "mission" many feel to mentor young people. My husband, who
was/is one of the best dads I know and who is extraordinarily patient with youngsters, "thought twice" about
how he would be perceived sitting next to a playground. He would have a lot to offer another young lad,
now that our son is an adult. But he is leeryeven to sit on that park bench for too long. Bill shares in his
book how this perception has affected him, tooand he is one of NCFR's leading researchers on fatherhood
and youth developmentand a devoted dad himself. This is one of the most tragic of societal developments,
given the evidence that youth mentoring programs bolster child resilience and change lives in a big way.
Men on a Mission is a fabulous book in which Bill writes about his qualitative study of 55 adult men who
engage in youth development activities. He summarizes the motivations behind these men's dedication to
mentoring boys and how these men were touched by the experience of watching their mentees develop. He
also discusses some of the barriers men feel to working with youththe perception that nurturing is a female
task, and worse, the perception that any man who wants to spend time with children may be a pedophile.
Looking at this as an amateur epidemiologist, just a few seconds of arithmetic using Census data gives us
an idea of the societal potential of youth mentoring and its possibilities for an impact on public health.
�The population of the U.S. is just over 300 million and the number of adult male ages 20 64 is almost 90
million. Let's just say hypothetically that when one screens out those with pathologies, those who are
temperamentally unsuitable or those who are unavailable for other reasons, we are left with 10% of U.S.
men who could act as positive role models for youth. (probably a conservative estimate).
Now let's suppose that these 9 million men mentored 9 million youth. There are about 42 million boys ages
0 19 in the U.S. That would mean that roughly one in five male youth would have an older dude to look up
to. Imagine! Bill Marsiglio cites that there are likely about 3 million American kids who are active in official
mentoring programs. Let's take a leap and say that half are boys, so 1.5 million. What if we could raise the
number of formal mentors by six fold?
There are undoubtedly many youth who are being mentored via informal "programs" by neighbors or other
adults in their lives outside their families; Bill estimates that approximately 50 60 % of youth have such a
relationship. But that still means that there are roughly 20 million boys in the U.S. who have no significant
nonfamily male role model in their lives.
The cost to these boys may be substantial. In a study that he cites from the Big Brothers/ Big Sisters
organization, youth ages 10 16 who were involved in a oneonone mentoring relationship were
significantly less likely to initiate drug or alcohol use, hit someone, or skip school.
In another high quality study, The Development of the Person: the Minnesota Study of Risk and Adaptation
from Birth to Adulthood, by L. Alan Sroufe, Byron Egeland, Elizabeth Carlson and W. Andrew Collins, the
authors' research finds that a stable male in a child's life is a significant protective factor. Bill also directs
readers to the research by the Search Institute. Search identified 40 developmental assets associated with
adolescent wellbeing, of which "Young person receives support from three or more nonparent adults" is
one. Here is the link: http://www.searchinstitute.org/system/files/40AssetsList.pdf Another NCFR, member,
Robert Milardo, has done some wonderful research on the positive impact uncles can have on nephews.
The studies that replicate these findings are abundant.
How can we get more men involved in youth work? I wish that men who are interested in mentoring would
read Bill's book. Potential mentors should read the verbatim narratives that these mentors shared with Bill
in his indepth interviews. It's clear that the payoffs work both ways. Generativity is good for adults too.
Story after story described the experience as lifechanging for the men involved.
There is an active fatherhood movement underway; we need to educate the public as to the value that men
can have on their communities by participating in youth work. We need to have rigorous screening
procedures in place to weed out dangerous peopleno question here. But we, as a society, must figure out a
way to place the very real fear of child victimization in perspective and ask ourselves: how many boys are
being hurt by not having a stable male role model in their lives? This may be a far greater risk to child well
being in the aggregate.
Bill's book is listed on our NCFR "On the Bookshelf" section of our website which has the direct link to order
it online. http://www.ncfr.org/bookshelf.asp .Thanks, Bill, for a great read and for your enormous gift to the
field of youth developmentyou're mentoring the mentors.
Epilogue:
Now I must apologize for what will be a long blog. But I believe NCFR members would like to listenin on
my followup conversation with the author. I sent this essay to Bill Marsiglio for comment, as is my custom
before posting book reviews,... and I was blown away by an observation of his that is prima facie evidence
that someone like me who is trained in the family sciencesand enthusiastically supportive of youth
mentoringcan still completely miss the mark.
�Bill sent back the following comments (in italics), pointing out that my review didn't capture one important
fact: that "Men on their Missions" could have as valuable an impact on girls' development as well. Here's
what Bill said,
"Although the men I interviewed did mentor boys more than girls, I made a conscious effort to accentuate
how men can and do make a difference for girls as well as boys. Perhaps I didn't do it well enough if you
were left only with an image of men and boys [ ] ... girls can benefit a great deal from being around
supportive adult males as well. These males are sometimes their teachers, coaches, 4H club agents, youth
ministers, music instructors, probation officers, staff members at Boys & Girls clubs, etc."
How could I miss this? Amazingly, in my original essay, I stress the fact that men are unfairly viewed as
dangerous in many casesyet I fell into the same trap because of my personal experience! I wrote back to
Bill:
"Bill thanks for your comments. What happened is "about me" and not about the book, which I find
fascinating (and troubling) for myself. I'm not a journalist, and what bloggers do (more so) is filter
information through their own experience. I completely dismissed the notion that men could be mentors for
girls, which is extremely ironic because your book is about what society interprets as the possible good men
can serve for all youth. I fell into the trap.
My review was filtered through my own experience. Having grown up with a violent father (an intimate
terrorist, actually) my feeling as a youth/teen was that any mentor of the male variety would have been
impossibly out of the question. I would have run frantically in the other direction. I managed to find an
extremely laidback husband, but I didn't cultivate close male friends until well into my upper 20s. Now I
have lots of themand now I even have a male mentorbut as a youth, forget it.
[ ] This one was hard, because I write from my soul (I'm largely a memoirist and humorist) and my
subconscious was working overtime not to look at that angle of the book.
I am blown away by my own biases. I am fascinated by the process that transpired in my mind. It was an
absolute textbook example of a psychological transference reaction. What a wakeup call.
Gosh, I learned so much about myself.... how my family history profoundly affects my life to this day. My
brother's voice is very, very similar to that of my late father. Dad has been dead 19 years, but still, when my
brother calls me, I still get an adrenaline rush when he says the first three words or so. I'm OK if I'm the one
who places the phone callI'm prepared for it."
Then Bill wrote back:
"Thanks for sharing. I've known other women who have had somewhat similar experiences, [ ] but it's
difficult for someone like me who hasn't lived a similar life to grasp experientially the long lasting, and
profound, impact such negative parentchild relations can have. You are quite analytical and bright, so the
fact that you didn't see your slant is telling. But, I'm glad this process has provided you one more kernel of
insight into the incredibly complex "human condition(s)"your own included. I wish my real students were
so responsive to constructive criticism. [ ] Good luck on the revision. I look forward to seeing itand how far
you're willing to go into the personal."
So there it is. I debated whether to "go into the personal" and share my error and the basis for it. I decided
to do it. Why? Because being an effective Family Life Educator requires painful selfreflection at times. It's
also because this is a way for me to serve as a blogging mentor. Mentoring is sometimes about sharing
one's missteps with others, to help them from making the same mistakes.
Reading Men on a Mission was perhaps the best educational experience I will have in some time. Thank
you, Bill, for leading me on a journey I needed to take. This "girl" is grateful for your mentoring.
�National Council on Family Relations | 1201 West River Parkway · Suite 200 · Minneapolis, MN 55454 · 888.781.9331
Privacy Policy | Terms of Use | © 2017. All rights reserved.
Web design by Gorton Studios
�
Dublin Core
The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/.
Title
A name given to the resource
N equals 1 blog
Identifier
An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context
n-equals-1
Description
An account of the resource
<p>Hello! I'm NCFR's blogger, Nancy Gonzalez. I am the former director of public affairs for NCFR<em>.</em> I have a Master's in Family Life Education from the University of Minnesota, and I'm a Certified Family Life Educator. I'm married to a great guy named George, a software engineer, and mother to our college age son, Eric. Our family also consists of a Border Collie named Beau and two calico kitties, Shelley and Shirley. I knew I wanted to study families at age 16. My blog is entitled <em>"The N = 1 Experiment"</em> to emphasize that my "findings" are anecdotal and therefore are my "1 person reflections." The topics I write about are based on the family studies field, my own family, current events, memoir and humor. Its contents are my opinion and my responsibility alone and not the official position of NCFR as an organization. I invite your comments!</p>
<p><em>The views expressed in this blog may not represent the views of the entire NCFR organization. </em></p>
Text
A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text.
Dublin Core
The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/.
Title
A name given to the resource
Putting Men into Mentoring
Description
An account of the resource
A conversation with William Marsiglio about fatherhood and male generativity.
Creator
An entity primarily responsible for making the resource
Nancy Gonzalez, CFLE
Identifier
An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context
putting-men-mentoring
Date
A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource
May 12, 2009
-
https://archive.ncfr.org/files/original/43d0158f48ee53f429d137677d683844.pdf
6e895616e21ab7b0da146fdfbf0ae5dd
PDF Text
Text
The Recession's Effects on Families
by Nancy Gonzalez, CFLE
Posted by Nancy Gonzalez | April 07, 2010
The March 2010 issue of Atlantic magazine had an interesting article on
"How a New Jobless Era Will Transform America."
http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2010/03/howanew
joblesserawilltransformamerica/7919 . Author Don Peck pulls
together information from many placesincluding scholarly sources
familiar to NCFR. This article caught my eye because of two family
scholars he quotesGlen Elder and Kathryn Edin (speakers at NCFR
conferences)as well as input from Nobel Prize winning economist Paul
Krugman and other experts.
Peck's thesis is that this recession is differentand coming out of it is
going to be an arduous process with unprecedented outcomes. Some
facets of society may never look the same, from the macro economy to
microlevel family dynamics. It's not over 'til it's over, and we will not
know the fallout from this recession until things turn around. As such,
Peck's prognostications are educated guesses. But this piece
resounded so closely to what I am seeing in my own circle of family,
friends, and colleaguesand what I am reading far and wide. I know one
guy whose company had an across the board 5% pay cut and several others whose organizations have
instituted several days of unpaid furlough. There are deepseated fears that are reminiscent of Psych 101's
learned helplessness. I've heard those around me say desperate things like, "I can't keep reinventing
myself." This is the inexpert opinion of one blogger who's operating from a healthy dose of anecdote, but
here goesthis one feels way different. Bloomberg online agrees with me, calling this recession the worst
since the Great Depression. http://www.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=20601087&sid=aNivTjr852TI
As a 13 year old, I remember the recession of 1973 when my father was laid off briefly. Back then, a layoff
was an actual "lay off." My dad was not out long and was called back by the same employer. Layoffs now
are kindlyworded terminations. As a young adult, I graduated with my B.A. in 1982 in the depth of that
recession. It was horrible. Psych degrees are like noseseverybody's got one. There were 65 applicants for
my first job which was clerical and didn't require a degree. I clearly remember the recession circa 1991
when my husband and I had a new mortgage and a preschooler. I started my Master's degree that fallour
family's financial future was a big factor in that decision. Things were pretty scary in all three slumps. But
this downturn frightens me more. The September 2008 meltdown scared the life out of me. Just a few
weeks ago, I read an account of that week by Treasury Secretary Hank Paulson as taken from his memoir.
He called his wife from work to say he didn't know if the nation would survive the crisis. Then he had an
attack of dry heaves. http://www.guardian.co.uk/business/andrewclarkon
america/2010/feb/01/lehmanbrothersbearstearns and http://www.observer.com/2010/wallstreet/hank
�paulsonsdryheave . I find it fascinating that Hank Paulson's first sleepless night was when Bear Stearns
collapsed, a few months before the meltdown. I was up that night too and have proofI blogged about it.
http://community.ncfr.org/blog/Lists/Posts/Post.aspx?ID=42
Another observation that many have been making is that this recession has been especially unkind to men.
Construction, manufacturing and finance have been employment sectors that have been hit hard, and these
are maledominated professions. There's been much said about the role reversals that this dynamic has
introduced to families as women take on the sole or primary breadwinner position.
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=120146408
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/02/06/business/06women.html?pagewanted=all
http://www.boston.com/community/moms/articles/2010/02/18/role_adjustments
Yet one more prediction is that divorce rates are artificially low right nowthe thought is that people can't
afford to get divorcedthat after the recession there may be a spike of divorces that represent the backlog.
Divorce fees are just the beginning. What if all that's left to divide is debt on an upside down mortgage?
Here is a Washington Post article on the subject, which quotes NCFR members Andrew Cherlin and Brad
Wilcox. http://www.washingtonpost.com/wpdyn/content/article/2010/03/21/AR2010032103139.html?
hpid=topnews
I'm no expert. But I know where you can hear an expert discussion on this topic. Come to NCFR's annual
conference in November. We will have two family scholars speakingUniversity of Wisconsin economist
Maria Cancian and the aforementioned Glen Elderwho will be talking about just this subjectthe recession
and its impact on families. Dr. Elder, from the University of North CarolinaChapel Hill, conducted landmark
longitudinal research on the effects of the Great Depression on families. His book Children of the Great
Depression is a great read.
http://www.amazon.com/ChildrenGreatDepression25thAnniversary/dp/0813333423/ref=sr_1_1?
ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1270655471&sr=81.
Are there Great Depression parallels to what Glen Elder is observing in this recession? Here's a Wall
Street Journal article that summarizes a few of his thoughts.
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB123491027420603457.html . Here is an MP3 interview with Dr. Cancian
here: http://businessmatters.net/2009/10 . Come to Minneapolis and hear them together in an interactive
"fireside chat." Conference information is here.
National Council on Family Relations | 1201 West River Parkway · Suite 200 · Minneapolis, MN 55454 · 888.781.9331
Privacy Policy | Terms of Use | © 2017. All rights reserved.
Web design by Gorton Studios
�
Dublin Core
The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/.
Title
A name given to the resource
N equals 1 blog
Identifier
An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context
n-equals-1
Description
An account of the resource
<p>Hello! I'm NCFR's blogger, Nancy Gonzalez. I am the former director of public affairs for NCFR<em>.</em> I have a Master's in Family Life Education from the University of Minnesota, and I'm a Certified Family Life Educator. I'm married to a great guy named George, a software engineer, and mother to our college age son, Eric. Our family also consists of a Border Collie named Beau and two calico kitties, Shelley and Shirley. I knew I wanted to study families at age 16. My blog is entitled <em>"The N = 1 Experiment"</em> to emphasize that my "findings" are anecdotal and therefore are my "1 person reflections." The topics I write about are based on the family studies field, my own family, current events, memoir and humor. Its contents are my opinion and my responsibility alone and not the official position of NCFR as an organization. I invite your comments!</p>
<p><em>The views expressed in this blog may not represent the views of the entire NCFR organization. </em></p>
Text
A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text.
Dublin Core
The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/.
Title
A name given to the resource
The Recession's Effects on Families
Description
An account of the resource
Author Don Peck pulls together information from many places-including scholarly sources familiar to NCFR. This article caught my eye because of two family scholars he quotes-Glen Elder and Kathryn Edin (speakers at NCFR conferences)-as well as input from Nobel Prize winning economist Paul Krugman and other experts.
Creator
An entity primarily responsible for making the resource
Nancy Gonzalez, CFLE
Identifier
An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context
recessions-effects-families
Date
A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource
April 07, 2010
-
https://archive.ncfr.org/files/original/644ab49d47452e53ebd375848818e5bd.pdf
7ccc4cf49fddc23c130df7c20d05b221
PDF Text
Text
Remembering Grayson
by Nancy Gonzalez, CFLE
Posted by Nancy Gonzalez | May 01, 2010
Last March there was a ghastly tragedy that occurred just 10 blocks
from NCFR headquarters. A toddler named Grayson lost his life in a
rearend collision caused by an inattentive driver; specifically, a driver
who was reaching for her cell phone. I read about it the next day in the
Minneapolis paper. When I read that the scene of the accident was an
intersection I cross frequently, it had a chilling effect on me.
Back when cell phones were new to the general population, there was
a popular bumper sticker: Hang up and drive. I recall the Zeitgeist from
about 15 years ago about driving while talking on a cell phone: it was
more of a bad etiquette thing. The conventional wisdom was that the
problem was bad manners... having to honk at the guy in front of you
when the light turns green was merely irritating. This is changing and
fast. There is now growing recognition for the lifethreatening danger of
distracted driving of all kinds.
I was a young adult when Mothers Against Drunk Driving was founded. When I was growing up, drunk
driving was not considered a big dealin fact, it was fodder for jokes and phrases such as having "one for
the road." No one took your keys away. There were no sober cab programs on New Year's Eve. There
were no Designated Drivers. No one called police when a car was weaving. Drunk driving was the way to
get home from a bar.
Yesterday, Oprah Winfrey's show helped to launch a campaign, the "No Phone Zone." Winfrey is using her
considerable influence to make Americans aware of cell phone use and texting while driving.
http://www.oprah.com/packages/nophonezone.html .
Just how dangerous is distracted driving? A report from the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration
contains some frightening statistics:
In 2008, 5,870 people lost their lives and an estimated 515,000 people were injured in policereported
crashes in which at least one form of driver distraction was reported on the crash report.
Driver distraction was reported to have been involved in 16% of all fatal crashes in 2008.
The age group with the greatest proportion of distracted drivers was the under20 age group.
An estimated 21% of injury crashes were reported to have involved distracted driving.
The report's methodology section describes the limitations of the study including what is obvious: that a
driver's admission is most certainly underreported and therefore the scope of the problem is quite likely
�much worse. Read the entire report here: http://wwwnrd.nhtsa.dot.gov/Pubs/811216.PDF
There's a British Public Service Announcement video on YouTube about the danger of car texting. I'm not
putting the link here because while it is educational, the images are graphic and disturbing. For those who
are interested in seeing it, find it by entering Accident Texting while Driving in the YouTube search.
I've never texted while driving. (I'm not proficient enough at it even if using two hands while sitting on the
sofa.) I'm not coordinated enough to place calls on the road either. What I have done, and am not proud of,
is answered phone calls on the road. No more. Reading about the loss of little Grayson, so very near to my
workplace, gave me the shock I needed to commit to letting it ring. We all have Caller ID on our cell
phones. We all can pull off the road well away from traffic, park, and return a call. My car is now a No
Phone Zone.
Let's all take it one step further. If we call someone while he or she is driving, let's not enable this behavior.
Say "you're driving... call me back." Sign off and say goodbye.... for Grayson.
Epilogue
After I posted this blog, I discovered that baby Grayson is being honored at the federal level. Secretary of
transportation Ray LaHood mentioned his tragic death in his April 29 blog. Here is the link:
http://tinyurl.com/23vmcqw
National Council on Family Relations | 1201 West River Parkway · Suite 200 · Minneapolis, MN 55454 · 888.781.9331
Privacy Policy | Terms of Use | © 2017. All rights reserved.
Web design by Gorton Studios
�
Dublin Core
The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/.
Title
A name given to the resource
N equals 1 blog
Identifier
An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context
n-equals-1
Description
An account of the resource
<p>Hello! I'm NCFR's blogger, Nancy Gonzalez. I am the former director of public affairs for NCFR<em>.</em> I have a Master's in Family Life Education from the University of Minnesota, and I'm a Certified Family Life Educator. I'm married to a great guy named George, a software engineer, and mother to our college age son, Eric. Our family also consists of a Border Collie named Beau and two calico kitties, Shelley and Shirley. I knew I wanted to study families at age 16. My blog is entitled <em>"The N = 1 Experiment"</em> to emphasize that my "findings" are anecdotal and therefore are my "1 person reflections." The topics I write about are based on the family studies field, my own family, current events, memoir and humor. Its contents are my opinion and my responsibility alone and not the official position of NCFR as an organization. I invite your comments!</p>
<p><em>The views expressed in this blog may not represent the views of the entire NCFR organization. </em></p>
Text
A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text.
Dublin Core
The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/.
Title
A name given to the resource
Remembering Grayson
Description
An account of the resource
The tragic story of the life-threatening use of cell phones while driving..
Creator
An entity primarily responsible for making the resource
Nancy Gonzalez, CFLE
Identifier
An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context
remembering-grayson
Date
A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource
May 01, 2010
-
https://archive.ncfr.org/files/original/c7c5849db8efddf695e428b62fac9cc5.pdf
70ec83a67409a8da5c7289138053a9e7
PDF Text
Text
The Road to Unintended Consequences
by Nancy Gonzalez, CFLE
Posted by Nancy Gonzalez | October 22, 2008
There is a custom in Minnesotaand I'm not sure to what extent it exists elsewherebut here and there,
roadside memorials materialize that obviously mark the spot of a fatal accident. Sometimes they are in the
form of a cross, or sometimes they consist of a small collection of artificial flowers. Occasionally there is a
small sign with a name.
While I have no trouble understanding the motivation of loved ones in honoring their deceased, I've often
wondered whether this ritual is a good idea. When I'm driving along, my eyes are distracted to the highway
memorial, and immediately I think of loss and tragedy. In actual practice, what this means is that to look at
the display, my emotions are captured. Most troubling, though, is that I take my eyes off the road
momentarily.
One argument in favor of these memorials may be that they remind drivers of dangers that exist and
encourage them to slow down. But I believe it's more likely that they introduce a hazard and an "unintended
consequence." If the survivor were asked, "would you still memorialize your loved one here if you knew that
it produced a distracted driver for a few moments." I suspect that given that question to contemplate, the
survivor might make another choice.
There is some new legislation in Nebraska that seems to be producing an unintended consequence.
Recently, the Nebraska Legislature passed and enacted a new rule called a "Safe Haven" law. Safe Haven
refers to a policy whereby a parent can relinquish a child lawfullyno questions askedif the child is
surrendered to legallyspecified officials. Most often, the acceptable dropoff point is at a hospital. If the
child is givenup in this manner, the parent is protected from criminal prosecution.
Nebraska is one of the last states to establish a Safe Haven law, meaning that this policy exists in some
form throughout the U.S. The primary goal of this law is to provide a route for new parentsunable or
unwilling to act in a parenting roleto give up a newborn to the state. Legislators are hoping that Safe Haven
laws will serve as a preventive measure to infanticide.
When Nebraska instituted this legislation, however, it provided permission for a parent to surrender a child
of any age up to adulthood. What is happening is that older children and even teenagers are being dropped
off. In one case, a sibling group of nine children was handed over. See this article for more information:
According to the following article from CBS, the Nebraska legislature will consider amending the policy in an
upcoming session. It has become clear, in legislators' eyes, that this law is producing an unintended
consequence. They want newborns, not older children.
I have no knowledge of this issue beyond that of a family professional observing this development from
another state. I suggest, however, that in debating an amendment to this legislation, lawmakers across the
nation (not just Nebraska) consider a few questions: Why do we just want newborns? What about a
�toddler? What about a 4th grader? If the law is changed to accept only infants, I wonder if there may be
another unintended consequencemight older children and teenagers otherwise be confined to an injurious
childhood in a home where they are not wanted? Will a teenager be turnedout to the streets as the only
alternative? Admittedly, for children who are old enough to understand that they are being droppedoff for
good, it would be a devastating event. However, might their current lives be just as devastating or worse in
the custody of an unwilling or abusive parent?
Nebraskathere may have been a lot of wisdom in your first decision. I hope policymakers think through any
potential changes carefully. Infants are easy to place. But what is the intent? Satisfying the demand for
easilyadoptable children? The convenience of the human services system? Or is it child wellbeing?
The road of childhood, as defined in the U.S., is an 18 year trip. I hope policymakers work hard to ensure
that no "roadside memorials" appear for kids of any age.
Update: According to a November 11, 2008 article in the Minneapolis StarTribune, the Nebraska
legislature has amended their Safe Haven legislation
National Council on Family Relations | 1201 West River Parkway · Suite 200 · Minneapolis, MN 55454 · 888.781.9331
Privacy Policy | Terms of Use | © 2017. All rights reserved.
Web design by Gorton Studios
�
Dublin Core
The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/.
Title
A name given to the resource
N equals 1 blog
Identifier
An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context
n-equals-1
Description
An account of the resource
<p>Hello! I'm NCFR's blogger, Nancy Gonzalez. I am the former director of public affairs for NCFR<em>.</em> I have a Master's in Family Life Education from the University of Minnesota, and I'm a Certified Family Life Educator. I'm married to a great guy named George, a software engineer, and mother to our college age son, Eric. Our family also consists of a Border Collie named Beau and two calico kitties, Shelley and Shirley. I knew I wanted to study families at age 16. My blog is entitled <em>"The N = 1 Experiment"</em> to emphasize that my "findings" are anecdotal and therefore are my "1 person reflections." The topics I write about are based on the family studies field, my own family, current events, memoir and humor. Its contents are my opinion and my responsibility alone and not the official position of NCFR as an organization. I invite your comments!</p>
<p><em>The views expressed in this blog may not represent the views of the entire NCFR organization. </em></p>
Text
A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text.
Dublin Core
The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/.
Title
A name given to the resource
The Road to Unintended Consequences
Description
An account of the resource
There is a custom in Minnesota-and I'm not sure to what extent it exists elsewhere-but here and there, roadside memorials materialize that obviously mark the spot of a fatal accident. Sometimes they are in the form of a cross, or sometimes they consist of a small collection of artificial flowers. Occasionally there is a small sign with a name.
While I have no trouble understanding the motivation of loved ones in honoring their deceased, I've often wondered whether this ritual is a good idea.
Creator
An entity primarily responsible for making the resource
Nancy Gonzalez, CFLE
Identifier
An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context
road-unintended-consequences
Date
A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource
October 22, 2008