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You did WHAT?! The airing of marital laundry
By Nancy Gonzalez, CFLE
Posted by Nancy Gonzalez | May 24, 2012
Every now and then, I am reminded that being a student of the family
sciences guarantees me absolutely no edge over anyone in the general
population in dealing with family problems of my own. I have a little bit
of an advantage in putting things in context, but at Casa Gonzalez, we
have all the same drama.
Last month, something happened that was so unpredictable and
outrageous that at the end of the day, the only redeeming thought I had
was “Well, at least I can get a blog out of it.” I’m going to share it,
because it’s such a good example of how even those who work in my
field have just as many misunderstandings as anyone else.
It began about two weeks previously with a stray comment I made to
my husband. We were talking about how everything in print, on film, or
on audio is becoming available online. And it’s happening so fast. We
have hundreds of books in our home. Many of the classics with no copyright entanglements have been on
the web for a while already. Check Project Gutenberg or Google books. It’s incredible. I don’t know if there
are many paper versions of the classics sold anymore. Entire libraries are as close as your laptop. It’s a
wonderful time to be alive.
However, there are those of us who like an oldfashioned book. I love reading NCFR journals on paper. I
have a hard time curling up with a laptop. Likewise, for audio, I don’t like the iPod and earbud existence.
Sometimes I like to have my music fill the room as I’m puttering around the house. This is where the
problem began. That throwaway comment about this new digitized world was, “Someday soon, everything
we own will be ‘up on the cloud.’” That’s what did it.
My husband George had the day off. He is an IT geek. Bad combination. I never know when some new
contraption is going to come into the house and upgrade me, whether I want to or not. I got home from work
and found several plastic bags on the front porch, waiting for the garbage. The contents were starting to
poke through the bags, and I noticed a corner of a CD jewel case. I pulled it out. It was the empty container
for one of my CDs. Quickly I started tearing through the bags. Four kitchen sized garbage bags were full of
my empty CD cases.
I was furious! I knew immediately what had happened. George had taken all of my CDs and scanned them
in and uploaded them to “the cloud.” I don’t want them on the cloud! I want my CDs just the way they
were, thank you very much! He was ready to hear me exclaim how grateful I was that he spent the day
performing a service that people pay money for. I have never really known what a “conniption” is, but I
assure you, I had one.
�Fast forward—he has since matched up the CDs with their jewel cases and everything is back the way it
was. In fact, it’s better now that everything has a duplicate on the cloud—wherever that is.
The point I’m making is that I have had the occasional complaint over the years that he’s “not spontaneous”
and he “doesn’t surprise me” or he “can’t anticipate what I want.” He tried. He really did. I said “everything
would be on the cloud someday” and what he heard was “I want everything up on the cloud someday.”
What I saw, as soon as I regained my composure, is that he had spent an entire day working on something
spontaneous, to surprise me, and he tried to anticipate what I wanted. And for the first 10 minutes, I
couldn’t connect those dots. I hurt him, and I was sorry.
What I really want, and it’s taken me awhile to realize it, is someplace where there is very little change—in
my home. I have gotten to the point in my life where spontaneous surprises are everywhere. When I walk
through our front door, I want stability. Everyone else can live on the cloud. I’ll be listening to my hand crank
Edison phonograph.
Share your thoughts
Posted by Anonymous | July 2, 2012 1:57pm.
Hi Nancy,
I hear you. My husband and I are both techies but there is just something about the crispy clean pages of a real
book and the physical touch of a real CD that makes things seem more real. I think there is a place in between all of
that. I also love how technology has freed us. I use an app called GoodReads to keep track of my books now and
this little app has a scanner on it so I can just snap a photo of my book and it tells my GoodReads friends what I am
reading. That is pretty cool.
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<p>Hello! I'm NCFR's blogger, Nancy Gonzalez. I am the former director of public affairs for NCFR<em>.</em> I have a Master's in Family Life Education from the University of Minnesota, and I'm a Certified Family Life Educator. I'm married to a great guy named George, a software engineer, and mother to our college age son, Eric. Our family also consists of a Border Collie named Beau and two calico kitties, Shelley and Shirley. I knew I wanted to study families at age 16. My blog is entitled <em>"The N = 1 Experiment"</em> to emphasize that my "findings" are anecdotal and therefore are my "1 person reflections." The topics I write about are based on the family studies field, my own family, current events, memoir and humor. Its contents are my opinion and my responsibility alone and not the official position of NCFR as an organization. I invite your comments!</p>
<p><em>The views expressed in this blog may not represent the views of the entire NCFR organization. </em></p>
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You did WHAT?! The airing of marital laundry
Description
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Last month, something happened that was so unpredictable and outrageous that at the end of the day, the only redeeming thought I had was "Well, at least I can get a blog out of it."
Creator
An entity primarily responsible for making the resource
Nancy Gonzalez, CFLE
Identifier
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you-did-what-airing-marital-laundry
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May 24, 2012
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https://archive.ncfr.org/files/original/b8d3e3cc5ab06531462bd78f42074d31.pdf
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Windows and doors
By Nancy Gonzalez, CFLE
Posted by Nancy Gonzalez | July 24, 2013
I’ve started writing this column at least five times. What I have to say is
difficult. I think I should state my central point now and then fill in the
details. Here it is: My employment status with NCFR will be… changing.
Now let’s go back a few years to the retirement of our longtime
conference director, Cindy Winter. If you were an NCFR member then,
you no doubt remember Cindy’s grand retirement party at the annual
conference. What happened with Cindy thereafter is both wonderful
and hilarious. She retired, but we wouldn’t let her go! Week after week,
month after month, a project or function in the office always popped up
that was work Cindy could do best. Our executive director, Diane
Cushman, kept Cindy tethered to the office with shortterm gigs that
grew. It became an office joke about how well Cindy was retiring. After
a few months, it was clear that this “temporary” and “retired” employee
was neither of these things. Cindy isn’t the rocking chair type. And we
still needed her. The organization still has Cindy’s wisdom nearby. And Cindy has a notquite retired life that
is vital to her wellbeing. Everyone wins.
By the time this column is in print, NCFR will have hired, or will have almost hired, my replacement. I’d like
to be transparent as to why.
As far back as I can remember, I have suffered generalized anxiety that has been quite disabling at times.
As NCFR members, you probably know that in addition to the psychic maelstrom and depression, there are
myriad physical manifestations of anxiety too. I won’t go into all of them. Above all, the most crippling of
them for me has been the soulcrushing insomnia. I have tried everything. I’ve done meds, no meds,
exercise, no exercise, counting sheep and “talking to the Shepherd.” I’ve tried warm milk, chamomile,
melatonin, progressive relaxation and mindfulness training. I had an expensive hospital overnight sleep
study that was inconclusive, except that I was told that my REM sleep onset is slower than that of most
people. I have a hightech mattress. I sleep with two aircirculating fans in the room to produce white noise
and minimize distractions. Like a scientist, I have experimented with all of these, changing one variable
each time, so that I could figure out what helps and what doesn’t. With all this data it still boils down to the
fact that I sleep just two or three hours at a time. The last full night’s sleep I had was in March 2009.
Imagine tending to a newborn — only the baby never grows up.
I’ve been with NCFR nine years. Back when I started I was — obviously — younger and could cope with
this bizarre disability better. But a couple years ago, the insomnia got even worse. After a bad night, I was
an absolute zombie. My zombie days became more frequent. My short term memory really took a hit. It
began to affect my work, which made for overwhelming guilt. The guilt fed the anxiety in a vicious cycle.
�Now it’s clear — and this is so very humbling — that I can no longer cope with a fulltime job. Diane and I
came to the realization in June. We both cried. She said she can’t imagine NCFR without me… and I can’t
imagine my life without NCFR. That’s when the “Cindy Solution” occurred to us both. I would spin off as a
consultant, do the NCFR work that suits me best and free up much needed resources to hire someone who
can do the things I can’t. I am so excited at the prospect of mentoring a replacement and cheerleading from
the sidelines as he or she takes NCFR to new levels. There is no shame in having a mental illness. What
would be a shame, though, is not to acknowledge it to the detriment of myself and, most of all, NCFR.
I will continue to have my NCFR email address and, because most members aren’t in Minneapolis, it’s quite
possible that no one will even notice I’m not in the office full time anymore. I will continue my work editing
NCFR Report. What else I do depends on the skill set our new coworker will bring to us. What I can bring to
the table is nine years’ experience in the organization and a love of NCFR — you can’t buy that on the open
market. I will also make a great pinch hitter. If, for example, one of our staff is out for medical or parental
leave, I will have the flexibility to swoop back in and help out on a shortterm basis. Management gurus say
that the organization that cultivates a contingent workforce like this is smart.
Diane reminded me that when life shuts a door, it always opens a window. I don’t know what lies beyond
the curtains, but it’s time to pull them back.
Share your thoughts
Posted by Anonymous | August 5, 2013 12:19pm.
Dear Nancy,
I have always enjoyed your columns, and even more so the opportunities we've had to talk in person. I will never
forget your support and kindness to me over the years when I was caring for my parents (especially my mom). I am
so pleased that you will remain connected to NCFR, yet will do what is best for you. Peace!! Linda Behrendt
Posted by Anonymous | August 2, 2013 8:07am.
Nancy, what a beautiful testament to your integrity and courage! I think you and Cindy could write a book about
"The Cindy Solution!" This is the kind of creative problem solving women bring to the table and we need a lot more
of it just think if all organizations made space for such options for new parents as well as those with health issues
or who want to phase into retirement! I wish you the best with this new adventure and that you find rest and joy in
the process! Hugs! Joan Comeau
Posted by Anonymous | July 31, 2013 3:33pm.
My dear Nancy,
While I think this transition is the right thing for you, I can't help feeling sad about it. I like what you wrote about a
smart organization having flexibility and also working on replenishing itself! Diane is a genius at this type of thing.
And I really want your health to improve. I hope you will still be around for Fawlty Towers and bad puns! As well as
for the NCFR Report and the many assets you provide to NCFR and to us, the members.
Affectionately, Anisa
Posted by Anonymous | July 31, 2013 8:16pm.
Love you, Anisa.... We have so many good memories together!
Posted by Anonymous | July 31, 2013 3:24pm.
Nancy,
�You and Diane are right in the thought that when one door/window closes another one opens, sometimes many
open. It has been great working with you.
Chloe D. Merrill
Posted by Anonymous | July 31, 2013 9:44am.
Dear Nancy,
First, my sincere thanks for your years of commitment, love, concern, giving of your MANY skills and TALENTS,
CREATIVITY, insight, caring attitude for being YOU in your work!!! I will never forget our time together in summer
2012 at lunch. You and Cindy honored me to the "hilt" with your presence with me at lunch!!!! I am so pleased you
can serve as a model for all the people out there who deal with anxiety and depression but who feel that they must
hide it. When will we ever grow up and know that all parts of our being are parts of the whole person mental,
psychological, physical, motor, social, spiritual, perceptual what impacts one part is no less worthy of attention
that that which affects another part. And we need to try to understand all parts, as well. Using your windows
analogy in discussing your transition, you are also opening the window/door in a topic that few have the "guts" to
shed light one and all conditions need to be discussed.
Nancy, you are a dear person to me and I will continue to see you on FB and when I find an open November
conference time during my retirement to go to the NCFR Natioanal Conference. I WILL stay in touch!! Get LOTS OF
REST, restore your brain and your whole body, keep your positive approach to others and hopefully you can be as
caring and understanding of YOURSELF as you are and have been with and to ALL OF US!!
With love, Sedahlia Crase, Ames, IA
Posted by Anonymous | July 31, 2013 7:42am.
Nancy,
Another in a long series of columns that shows off your many talents and insights. I daresay that having you only
part of the time will remain more enlightening and energizing to the field than what many others can give with more
full time status.
Steve Gavazzi
Posted by Anonymous | July 31, 2013 6:46am.
Nancy:
It's been a delight working with you all these years. Thank you for your openess and candor. It is an inspiration to
others. I wish you every good thing and am happy that you will still be connected to NCFR. Your expertise is
invaluable to the organization.
Maisie Ross
Posted by Anonymous | July 26, 2013 4:08pm.
I send you my most heartfelt virtual hugfromatotalstranger. I had to stop working fulltime 3 years ago due to my
own health issues and it is indeed, a devastating feeling. I am still learning how to "have a life" at the age of 48.
I am glad to hear you will be able to stay in involved in another capacity. That is so important.
Best wishes,
Lisa Osborne, MS CFLE
Posted by Anonymous | July 27, 2013 1:42pm.
Nancy,
My sincere empathy of your problem and the solution you came to. It's a great way to stay involved and still
take care of yourself. You are to be commended for recognizing the situation and doing all that you can to come
to grips with it. Parttime is not so bad at all. To that I can attest along with the love and dedication to NCFR a
�great organization. I wish you the very best and am happy to hear that you will still be doing the Report. Mary Jo
Czaplewski
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Dublin Core
The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/.
Title
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n-equals-1
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<p>Hello! I'm NCFR's blogger, Nancy Gonzalez. I am the former director of public affairs for NCFR<em>.</em> I have a Master's in Family Life Education from the University of Minnesota, and I'm a Certified Family Life Educator. I'm married to a great guy named George, a software engineer, and mother to our college age son, Eric. Our family also consists of a Border Collie named Beau and two calico kitties, Shelley and Shirley. I knew I wanted to study families at age 16. My blog is entitled <em>"The N = 1 Experiment"</em> to emphasize that my "findings" are anecdotal and therefore are my "1 person reflections." The topics I write about are based on the family studies field, my own family, current events, memoir and humor. Its contents are my opinion and my responsibility alone and not the official position of NCFR as an organization. I invite your comments!</p>
<p><em>The views expressed in this blog may not represent the views of the entire NCFR organization. </em></p>
Text
A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text.
Dublin Core
The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/.
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Windows and doors
Description
An account of the resource
What I have to say is difficult. I think I should state my central point now and then fill in the details. Here it is: My employment status with NCFR will be changing.
Creator
An entity primarily responsible for making the resource
Nancy Gonzalez, CFLE
Identifier
An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context
windows-and-doors
Date
A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource
July 24, 2013
-
https://archive.ncfr.org/files/original/4c08d771bfba22ce2d3abc154e46be40.pdf
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PDF Text
Text
Want to win a free NCFR membership? Join in my
trivia contest on my personal Facebook page!
by Nancy Gonzalez, CFLE
Posted by Nancy Gonzalez | March 07, 2011
Family studies enthusiasts I am running a trivia contest on my
personal Facebook page. It's running from now through Memorial Day
weekend. I will be asking a trivia question every day or two and posting
it on my wall. Questions will be posted approximately noon Central
time. Particpants are welcome to use Google or any other source to
find the answer. The first person to answer it correctly gets the Brownie
points associated with that question. Brownie points are assessed
based on the difficulty of the questions. For the person who accrues the
most Brownie points on May 30, there is a cool prize! I will personally
buy you a new or renewal membership in NCFR! In the event of a tie,
the names of the top winners will be placed in a hat, and I will ask a coworker to randomly draw a name.
Join in the fun!
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Dublin Core
The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/.
Title
A name given to the resource
N equals 1 blog
Identifier
An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context
n-equals-1
Description
An account of the resource
<p>Hello! I'm NCFR's blogger, Nancy Gonzalez. I am the former director of public affairs for NCFR<em>.</em> I have a Master's in Family Life Education from the University of Minnesota, and I'm a Certified Family Life Educator. I'm married to a great guy named George, a software engineer, and mother to our college age son, Eric. Our family also consists of a Border Collie named Beau and two calico kitties, Shelley and Shirley. I knew I wanted to study families at age 16. My blog is entitled <em>"The N = 1 Experiment"</em> to emphasize that my "findings" are anecdotal and therefore are my "1 person reflections." The topics I write about are based on the family studies field, my own family, current events, memoir and humor. Its contents are my opinion and my responsibility alone and not the official position of NCFR as an organization. I invite your comments!</p>
<p><em>The views expressed in this blog may not represent the views of the entire NCFR organization. </em></p>
Text
A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text.
Dublin Core
The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/.
Title
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Want to win a free NCFR membership? Join in my trivia contest on my personal Facebook page!
Description
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Family studies enthusiasts - Join in my trivia contest! An NCFR membership is the prize! Click on the headline above for contest details.
Creator
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Nancy Gonzalez, CFLE
Identifier
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March 07, 2011
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https://archive.ncfr.org/files/original/8f8168a84fbdcab3141943e1021258cc.pdf
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PDF Text
Text
Uneven Parallels
by Nancy Gonzalez, CFLE
Posted by Nancy Gonzalez | February 10, 2010
U.S. First Lady Michelle Obama is launching a nationwide campaign to raise awareness of childhood
obesity. Here is an interview with her from last night's News Hour with Jim Lehrer.
http://www.pbs.org/newshour/bb/health/janjune10/firstlady_0209.html . It's a serious problem and a grave
threat to our nation. One in three U.S. children is overweight. We all know the risk factors thereof. I won't go
into any medical or dietary specifics, because I'm not qualified and because the whole "Let's Move"
campaign is explained on its own website. http://www.letsmove.gov .
What I am going to add is a few thoughts based on my reminiscences of a childhood battling a weight
problem. I'll tell you where "they lost me." Phy Ed classes in 12 years of public school, with exceptions
amounting to mere days, did me no good at all. What I remember is being asked to do useless activities
such as try to climb a rope hanging from the ceiling of the gymwhat was that about? In 49 years of living,
not once have I had the need to climb a 20 foot rope. I remember bouncing on a trampoline and trying the
uneven parallel barsboth disasters. I am afraid of heights and had no aptitude for gymnastics. I hate
volleyball, basketball, softball and track. Sit ups, push ups and jumping jacks were a joke. Being forced to
play sports against my will didn't help meit just made me resentful. Physical activity became associated
with failure, embarrassment and fear.
Then, to make matters worse, in Minnesota we were forced to go outside in the winter for recess. I hated
every single day. I stood outside freezing so that (in my mind) the teachers could have 30 minutes of peace
and quiet. We were told we needed "fresh air." As far as I could tell, the air was just as fresh inside the
warm school. I didn't get fitI just got furious. I get mad right now just thinking about it. Gym teachers had
curricular units they had to tick off and mark "completed" on their clipboards. With every checkmark, they
gave me one more reason to hate gym class.
What I did like, but what wasn't covered enough, was dance and swimming. What would've helped me
would have been a physical education program designed around things I could doand wanted to do. Like
walking. Why was I forced to try sports that I was destined to fail at? I wish I could've left childhood
committed to a lifetime of dance, swimming and just plain walking.
Here are the uneven parallels: athletic ability is endowed unevenly. I was born an endomorph. But there
could've been a parallel track I would've enjoyed, pursuing physical activity I could've benefitted from and
used throughout my life. I hope the Let's Move campaign gets it right.
�National Council on Family Relations | 1201 West River Parkway · Suite 200 · Minneapolis, MN 55454 · 888.781.9331
Privacy Policy | Terms of Use | © 2017. All rights reserved.
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Dublin Core
The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/.
Title
A name given to the resource
N equals 1 blog
Identifier
An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context
n-equals-1
Description
An account of the resource
<p>Hello! I'm NCFR's blogger, Nancy Gonzalez. I am the former director of public affairs for NCFR<em>.</em> I have a Master's in Family Life Education from the University of Minnesota, and I'm a Certified Family Life Educator. I'm married to a great guy named George, a software engineer, and mother to our college age son, Eric. Our family also consists of a Border Collie named Beau and two calico kitties, Shelley and Shirley. I knew I wanted to study families at age 16. My blog is entitled <em>"The N = 1 Experiment"</em> to emphasize that my "findings" are anecdotal and therefore are my "1 person reflections." The topics I write about are based on the family studies field, my own family, current events, memoir and humor. Its contents are my opinion and my responsibility alone and not the official position of NCFR as an organization. I invite your comments!</p>
<p><em>The views expressed in this blog may not represent the views of the entire NCFR organization. </em></p>
Text
A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text.
Dublin Core
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For a teen who hated Phy Ed classes, I could've been better served by Michelle Obama's "Let's Move" campaign.
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Nancy Gonzalez, CFLE
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uneven-parallels
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February 10, 2010
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https://archive.ncfr.org/files/original/fa08c004a82f04bf6b87f74516d29627.pdf
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To Fight for the Right, without Question or Pause...
by Nancy Gonzalez, CFLE
Posted by Nancy Gonzalez | August 31, 2009
One of the most moving aspects of the recent funeral services for Senator Ted Kennedy was Tony Award
winning baritone Brian Stokes Mitchell's brilliant solo, "To Dream the Impossible Dream" from Man of La
Mancha.
Many of us work in some capacity of endeavoring to understand or to serve families. At times, our progress
regarding the difference we are trying to make seems like we're chasing an Impossible Dream.
There is footage on YouTube of the actual solo from the Kennedy services, but part of the beginning was
clipped off the recording. Here is another version of Mitchell's performance of this song, this one with
impressive backup singers; the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. Enjoy this incredible masterpiece. Then keep
working hard for family wellbeing!
National Council on Family Relations | 1201 West River Parkway · Suite 200 · Minneapolis, MN 55454 · 888.781.9331
Privacy Policy | Terms of Use | © 2017. All rights reserved.
�Web design by Gorton Studios
�
Dublin Core
The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/.
Title
A name given to the resource
N equals 1 blog
Identifier
An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context
n-equals-1
Description
An account of the resource
<p>Hello! I'm NCFR's blogger, Nancy Gonzalez. I am the former director of public affairs for NCFR<em>.</em> I have a Master's in Family Life Education from the University of Minnesota, and I'm a Certified Family Life Educator. I'm married to a great guy named George, a software engineer, and mother to our college age son, Eric. Our family also consists of a Border Collie named Beau and two calico kitties, Shelley and Shirley. I knew I wanted to study families at age 16. My blog is entitled <em>"The N = 1 Experiment"</em> to emphasize that my "findings" are anecdotal and therefore are my "1 person reflections." The topics I write about are based on the family studies field, my own family, current events, memoir and humor. Its contents are my opinion and my responsibility alone and not the official position of NCFR as an organization. I invite your comments!</p>
<p><em>The views expressed in this blog may not represent the views of the entire NCFR organization. </em></p>
Text
A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text.
Dublin Core
The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/.
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To Fight for the Right, without Question or Pause...
Description
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Many of us work in some capacity of endeavoring to understand or to serve families. At times, our progress regarding the difference we are trying to make seems like we're chasing an Impossible Dream.
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Nancy Gonzalez, CFLE
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fight-right-without-question-or-pause
Date
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August 31, 2009
-
https://archive.ncfr.org/files/original/89c3e3122bc83b5e791f91154d4b20ed.pdf
c8c0180df46508ea30fb319601c95611
PDF Text
Text
Threat Level Orange 8.3 million Americans at risk
by Nancy Gonzalez, CFLE
Posted by Nancy Gonzalez | September 18, 2009
An amazing press release just came through on the U.S. government's SAMHSA listserv (Substance
Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration). The number of people in the last year who considered
taking their own lives is frightening. The headline is: FirstofaKind National Study Reveals that 8.3
Million Adults in the U.S. had Serious Thoughts of Committing Suicide in the Past Year. That's
incredible! And tragic.
Let's put 8.3 million in perspective. It means that 3.7% of the adult population has, within the past year,
been at serious risk of suicide. Now think about this. New York City's population (2007 U.S. Census) was
8.275 million. Imagine. What if the entire population of New York City were in lifethreatening despair? How
would our nation act if the entire city of New York were at risk? Well, we know, don't we? Since 9/11, we
know what it feels like to have New York City at risk. We now have colorcoded threat levels, security
measures in place, seen and unseen, and the attention of the entire nation.
Here's another thought: 8.3 million is roughly equivalent to the combined populations of Los Angeles,
Chicago and Phoenix. Imagine if every life in these three major cities ended tragically? We have a serious
public health emergency. We should be on "orange" mental health alert. If anyone reading this is in need
of help, the National Suicide Prevention Hotline is 1800273TALK. Since government documents are in
the public domain, and this is important information SAMHSA is trying to disseminate, I'm going to post the
SAMSHA press release here in its entirety.
*****
SAMHSA News Release
FOR RELEASE:
September 17, 2009
Contact: SAMHSA Press Office (240) 276
2130
http://www.samhsa.gov
FirstofaKind National Study Reveals that 8.3 Million Adults in the U.S.
had Serious Thoughts of Committing Suicide in the Past Year
2.3 Million Adults Made a Suicide Plan and 1.1 Million Adults Actually
Attempted Suicide in the Past Year
Nearly 8.3 million adults (age 18 and older) in the U.S. (3.7 percent) had
serious thoughts of committing suicide in the past year according to the first
national scientific survey of its size on this public health problem. The study by
�the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA)
also shows that 2.3 million adult Americans made a suicide plan in the past
year and that 1.1 million adults 0.5 percent of all adult Americans had
actually attempted suicide in the past year.
The study provides important insights into the nature and scope of suicidal
thoughts and behaviors. For example, the risk of suicidal thoughts, planning
and attempts varies significantly among age groups. Young adults aged 18 to
25 were far more likely to have seriously considered suicide in the past year
than those aged 26 to 49 (6.7 percent versus 3.9 percent), and nearly three
times more likely than those aged 50 or older (2.3 percent). These disparities
in risk levels among younger and older adults also were found in suicide
planning and suicide attempts.
Substance use disorders also were associated with an increase in the risk of
seriously considering, planning or attempting suicide. People experiencing
substance abuse disorders within the past year were more than three times as
likely to have seriously considered committing suicide as those who had not
experienced a substance abuse disorder (11.0 percent versus 3.0 percent).
Those with past year substance abuse disorders were also 4 times more likely
to have planned a suicide than those without substance abuse disorders (3.4
percent versus 0.8 percent), and nearly seven times more likely to have
attempted suicide (2.0 percent versus 0.3 percent).
The study also revealed that adult females had marginally higher levels of
suicidal thoughts and behaviors than males in the past year.
"This study offers a far greater understanding of just how pervasive the risk of
suicide is in our nation and how many of us are potentially affected by it," said
SAMHSA Acting Administrator, Eric Broderick, D.D.S., M.P.H. "While there are
places that people in crisis can turn to for help like the National Suicide
Prevention Lifeline 1800273TALK, the magnitude of the public health crisis
revealed by this study should motivate us as a nation to do everything possible
to reach out and help the millions who are at risk preferably well before they
are in immediate danger."
The study notes that only 62.3 percent of adults who had attempted suicide in
the past year received medical attention for their suicide attempts. It also
notes that 46.0 percent of those attempting suicide stayed in a hospital
overnight or longer for treatment of their suicide attempts.
Suicidal Thoughts and Behaviors among Adults is based on 2008 data drawn
from the National Survey on Drug Use and Health, which obtained responses
from 46,190 persons aged 18 or older. The full report is available online at
http://oas.samhsa.gov/2k9/165/suicide.cfm. Copies may also be obtained free
of charge at http://ncadistore.samhsa.gov/catalog/productDetails.aspx?
ProductID=18198 or by calling SAMHSA's Health Information Network at 1
877SAMHSA7. For related publications and information, visit
http://www.samhsa.gov/ .
The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1800273TALK, coordinates the
network of 140 crisis centers across the United States providing suicide
prevention and crisis intervention services to individuals seeking help at any
�time, day or night. SAMHSA funds the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
(Lifeline) through a cooperative agreement for Networking, Certifying and
Training Suicide Prevention Hotlines that was awarded to Link2Health
Solutions, Inc.
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Dublin Core
The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/.
Title
A name given to the resource
N equals 1 blog
Identifier
An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context
n-equals-1
Description
An account of the resource
<p>Hello! I'm NCFR's blogger, Nancy Gonzalez. I am the former director of public affairs for NCFR<em>.</em> I have a Master's in Family Life Education from the University of Minnesota, and I'm a Certified Family Life Educator. I'm married to a great guy named George, a software engineer, and mother to our college age son, Eric. Our family also consists of a Border Collie named Beau and two calico kitties, Shelley and Shirley. I knew I wanted to study families at age 16. My blog is entitled <em>"The N = 1 Experiment"</em> to emphasize that my "findings" are anecdotal and therefore are my "1 person reflections." The topics I write about are based on the family studies field, my own family, current events, memoir and humor. Its contents are my opinion and my responsibility alone and not the official position of NCFR as an organization. I invite your comments!</p>
<p><em>The views expressed in this blog may not represent the views of the entire NCFR organization. </em></p>
Text
A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text.
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Threat Level Orange-- 8.3 million Americans at risk
Description
An account of the resource
The number of people in the last year who considered taking their own lives is frightening. The headline is: First-of-a-Kind National Study Reveals that 8.3 Million Adults in the U.S. had Serious Thoughts of Committing Suicide in the Past Year. That's incredible! And tragic.
Creator
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Nancy Gonzalez, CFLE
Identifier
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threat-level-orange-83-million-americans-risk
Date
A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource
September 18, 2009
-
https://archive.ncfr.org/files/original/cecd03952e1a9434fee8e642a069d92f.pdf
6ebdfdd0df2e505159634f6ccd39ccd8
PDF Text
Text
There, but not There: Loving Someone Who Has
Dementia
By Nancy Gonzalez, CFLE
Posted by Nancy Gonzalez | August 17, 2011
The test of a firstrate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed
ideas in the mind at the same time, and still retain the ability to
function. ~F. Scott Fitzgerald
Chapter one of Pauline Boss' new book, Loving Someone Who Has
Dementia, begins with that quote. Pauline (pictured) is one of NCFR's
most decorated scholars. She is one of our past Presidents and winner
of the prestigious Burgess Award given for a lifetime of achievements in
the field. She is also a gifted clinician, and has authored much material
for practitioners. Her latest gift, however, is written for families.
Pauline Boss is a pioneer in the subject of family stress and, in the
1970s, she began to notice a type of grieffrozen grief, she calls itthat
families experienced when a loss is ambiguous. The easiest way for
me to explain it, is to have her explain it. Watch this very short video:
�This new book for families is just excellent. I recommended it to a friend who is a caregiver for her mother
who has Alzheimer's disease. This friend knows I am a blogger and she specifically asked me to tell her
storyparticularly one aspect of her story. My friend (let's call her Mary, which is not her real name) had had
a good relationship with her mother throughout their lives. When Mary got divorced, her mother was right
there, helping her raise her three children when Mary's husband left her. Every step of the way, Mary's
mother was there to support her. Mary remarried, and they had many good years of intergenerational
family life. Then, gradually, Mary's mother's dementia began its onset.
Mary was able to keep her mother, a widow, at her own home with Mary dropping by for daily supervision.
But very soon it was apparent that her mother needed more care. Mary and her husband then took her into
their home for three years. When that arrangement was not enough, they began to look for an appropriate
long term situation and her mother moved into memory care a few months ago. I knew the transition would
be tough, because I'd heard for years how good Mary's mother was to her. It had been Mary's original
intent to care for her mother until her death.
Mary and I are close friends. Yet it was just a week or so ago that Mary finally told me what was absolutely
eating her up insideone of the reasons she placed her mother in outofhome care is that she was afraid
she would hurt her physically. When she told me, she just burst into tears. She wants me to share her
anonymous secret with the world. I don't know which was worse for her, the terror, the shame or the guiltor
all three. She was afraid to tell anyone about her feelings. I told her about Pauline's book and how she
absolutely must read it and soon. I told her that Pauline puts it all out there, including providing support for
these frightening feelings and what to do with them. If you have moments of selfdoubt that you might hurt
your loved one, it does not mean you are a monster. It means you are overwhelmed to the danger zone.
You need immediate help and Pauline tells you how to find it.
Mary is one of the most responsible, rational, and compassionate people I've ever known. Yet she got
overwhelmed to her breaking point. I understood. One evening last winter, I sat with Mary's mother so that
Mary and her husband could go out for the evening, which they literally had not done in years because one
of them had to be at home at all times. Being with her mother was a precious experience for a family life
educator who had never seen dementia up close. All evening, in a 10 minute loop, she politely asked me
who I was and I reintroduced myself. Then she would ask me where Mary was, and I told her. Then she
would stare off into space and the loop began again with "I'm afraid we haven't met... what is your name?"
After cycling through several loops, I began to realize what incredible strength Mary had to cope with three
years of that level of caregiving. Her mother was "there, but not there," as Pauline explains.
Mary thinks she's failed. I predict that assessment will fade in time. I urged her to look at herself the way I
do. She has the patience of a saint and this is the first time in years that she's come up for air. Mary was
caught in frozen grief and, now that her mother is safely out of the home, she is allowing all this grief to
surface.
There are many resources in our field, many written by Dr. Boss, that are for the helpers. This book is for
the caregiver. It's written in accessible language and is divided into manageable chapters that facilitate
reading in the catchascatchcan way that caregivers often need. If you're a caregiver of someone who
has dementia, this book will wrap its words around you and give you a hug.
Loving Someone Who Has Dementia (JosseyBass, 2011) is available in both paperback and ebook.
National Council on Family Relations | 1201 West River Parkway · Suite 200 · Minneapolis, MN 55454 · 888.781.9331
Privacy Policy | Terms of Use | © 2017. All rights reserved.
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Dublin Core
The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/.
Title
A name given to the resource
N equals 1 blog
Identifier
An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context
n-equals-1
Description
An account of the resource
<p>Hello! I'm NCFR's blogger, Nancy Gonzalez. I am the former director of public affairs for NCFR<em>.</em> I have a Master's in Family Life Education from the University of Minnesota, and I'm a Certified Family Life Educator. I'm married to a great guy named George, a software engineer, and mother to our college age son, Eric. Our family also consists of a Border Collie named Beau and two calico kitties, Shelley and Shirley. I knew I wanted to study families at age 16. My blog is entitled <em>"The N = 1 Experiment"</em> to emphasize that my "findings" are anecdotal and therefore are my "1 person reflections." The topics I write about are based on the family studies field, my own family, current events, memoir and humor. Its contents are my opinion and my responsibility alone and not the official position of NCFR as an organization. I invite your comments!</p>
<p><em>The views expressed in this blog may not represent the views of the entire NCFR organization. </em></p>
Text
A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text.
Dublin Core
The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/.
Title
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There, but not There: Loving Someone Who Has Dementia
Description
An account of the resource
Pauline Boss is a pioneer in the subject of family stress and, in the 1970s, she began to notice a type of grief-frozen grief, she calls it-that families experienced when a loss is ambiguous.
Creator
An entity primarily responsible for making the resource
Nancy Gonzalez, CFLE
Identifier
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there-not-there-loving-someone-who-has-dementia
Date
A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource
August 17, 2011
-
https://archive.ncfr.org/files/original/7976d43e7287dbffb6a027650136cfb9.pdf
00a7e55b4814db2a9049688fb6e0ba77
PDF Text
Text
The Ugly Christmas Shirtthe Gift that Keeps Giving
by Nancy Gonzalez, CFLE
Posted by Nancy Gonzalez | December 16, 2008
Today we have a few giftgiving tips from Aunt Nancy.... This year in our extended family, due to economic
realities, we are celebrating onthecheap. Gag gifts are greatespecially if they're useful. The guys in our
family are getting a gallon of windshield washer fluid. I give this every year and write "Reindeer Soap" on it.
The gals? I'm wrapping up a bottle of Joy® brand dishwashing soap with a big tag on it that says, "May you
have Joy for the holidays." Both are stupidly funnyand useful. Another useful gift is a "gas card," a gift
certificate to a local gas station. What the heck, write "Hope your holidays are a gas!"
If you can make it funny and individual, it's great. We have an accountant; he may get a can of beans and a
cheap calculator. My sister spent time one year ridding her house of "kitsch"figurines and knick knacks that
were hard to dust and getting to look like shelf schlock. She proclaimed proudly that summer that she'd
given all the junk away to thrift stores. So, of course, that Christmas, I went to a thrift store and bought her
the ugliest figurine I could find. For $1.99, you can have your whole Christmas party howling with laughter.
On my husband's side of the family, we have a ritual that's been going on about 5 years now. Someone
(who will remain nameless) gave Uncle Don a shirt that was absolutely hideous. It's a summer polo shirt
with a print of hot dogs, hamburgers and grilling utensils on it. He opened it up, held it up and looked at it as
if he'd just opened a box of entrails. We all roared. He knows that I frequent thrift stores, so he gave it to me
to donate next time I went. Except I didn't.
The next year, he opened our gift and Voila! The same shirt! A new tradition was born. So now the shirt has
been going back and forth, with some new twist on the joke each year. The following year, it had lace added
to it. Last year I added a skirt to the bottom, so now it's a dress. It's my turn to get it back this year. I can't
wait to see the creative modifications it will have; it probably has lederhosen.
This year will be a lean one for too many families. Each day, some new datapoint comes in that drives
home the reality that there are families in trouble. We have now been in a recession one full year. Our three
U.S. domestic auto manufacturers are on the verge of bankruptcy. One in 10 houses now is either in
foreclosure or delinquent at least one month on a mortgage payment. Our incoming President has told us
that "it's going to get worse before it gets better." In my immediate and extended family, no one is wealthy,
but we all have a roof over our heads, groceries and heat. I would rather have an ugly figurine and a laugh
and then a note saying that a donation had been made to our local food shelf in the Twin Cities
http://www.2harvest.org than any other gift.
Wanna give yourself a gift? Do a random act of anonymous kindness. Here's one idea if you are among
those with a few extra dollars. Next time you're going through a fast food drivethru, look at the car behind
you. Is the car old? Does the driver have a carful of kids? Pay their bill when you get to the driveup
window. Ask the cashier to tell them "Happy Holidays from a stranger." What a Whopper® of a Happy
Meal® on a Frosty® day...
�
Note: The University of Minnesota Cooperative Extension Department offers some helpful holiday tips.
Here's the link: http://www.extension.umn.edu/familyrelations/holiday.html
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Privacy Policy | Terms of Use | © 2017. All rights reserved.
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Dublin Core
The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/.
Title
A name given to the resource
N equals 1 blog
Identifier
An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context
n-equals-1
Description
An account of the resource
<p>Hello! I'm NCFR's blogger, Nancy Gonzalez. I am the former director of public affairs for NCFR<em>.</em> I have a Master's in Family Life Education from the University of Minnesota, and I'm a Certified Family Life Educator. I'm married to a great guy named George, a software engineer, and mother to our college age son, Eric. Our family also consists of a Border Collie named Beau and two calico kitties, Shelley and Shirley. I knew I wanted to study families at age 16. My blog is entitled <em>"The N = 1 Experiment"</em> to emphasize that my "findings" are anecdotal and therefore are my "1 person reflections." The topics I write about are based on the family studies field, my own family, current events, memoir and humor. Its contents are my opinion and my responsibility alone and not the official position of NCFR as an organization. I invite your comments!</p>
<p><em>The views expressed in this blog may not represent the views of the entire NCFR organization. </em></p>
Text
A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text.
Dublin Core
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Title
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The Ugly Christmas Shirt--the Gift that Keeps Giving
Description
An account of the resource
This year in our extended family, due to economic realities, we are celebrating on-the-cheap.
Creator
An entity primarily responsible for making the resource
Nancy Gonzalez, CFLE
Identifier
An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context
ugly-christmas-shirt-gift-keeps-giving
Date
A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource
December 16, 2008
-
https://archive.ncfr.org/files/original/c7c5849db8efddf695e428b62fac9cc5.pdf
70ec83a67409a8da5c7289138053a9e7
PDF Text
Text
The Road to Unintended Consequences
by Nancy Gonzalez, CFLE
Posted by Nancy Gonzalez | October 22, 2008
There is a custom in Minnesotaand I'm not sure to what extent it exists elsewherebut here and there,
roadside memorials materialize that obviously mark the spot of a fatal accident. Sometimes they are in the
form of a cross, or sometimes they consist of a small collection of artificial flowers. Occasionally there is a
small sign with a name.
While I have no trouble understanding the motivation of loved ones in honoring their deceased, I've often
wondered whether this ritual is a good idea. When I'm driving along, my eyes are distracted to the highway
memorial, and immediately I think of loss and tragedy. In actual practice, what this means is that to look at
the display, my emotions are captured. Most troubling, though, is that I take my eyes off the road
momentarily.
One argument in favor of these memorials may be that they remind drivers of dangers that exist and
encourage them to slow down. But I believe it's more likely that they introduce a hazard and an "unintended
consequence." If the survivor were asked, "would you still memorialize your loved one here if you knew that
it produced a distracted driver for a few moments." I suspect that given that question to contemplate, the
survivor might make another choice.
There is some new legislation in Nebraska that seems to be producing an unintended consequence.
Recently, the Nebraska Legislature passed and enacted a new rule called a "Safe Haven" law. Safe Haven
refers to a policy whereby a parent can relinquish a child lawfullyno questions askedif the child is
surrendered to legallyspecified officials. Most often, the acceptable dropoff point is at a hospital. If the
child is givenup in this manner, the parent is protected from criminal prosecution.
Nebraska is one of the last states to establish a Safe Haven law, meaning that this policy exists in some
form throughout the U.S. The primary goal of this law is to provide a route for new parentsunable or
unwilling to act in a parenting roleto give up a newborn to the state. Legislators are hoping that Safe Haven
laws will serve as a preventive measure to infanticide.
When Nebraska instituted this legislation, however, it provided permission for a parent to surrender a child
of any age up to adulthood. What is happening is that older children and even teenagers are being dropped
off. In one case, a sibling group of nine children was handed over. See this article for more information:
According to the following article from CBS, the Nebraska legislature will consider amending the policy in an
upcoming session. It has become clear, in legislators' eyes, that this law is producing an unintended
consequence. They want newborns, not older children.
I have no knowledge of this issue beyond that of a family professional observing this development from
another state. I suggest, however, that in debating an amendment to this legislation, lawmakers across the
nation (not just Nebraska) consider a few questions: Why do we just want newborns? What about a
�toddler? What about a 4th grader? If the law is changed to accept only infants, I wonder if there may be
another unintended consequencemight older children and teenagers otherwise be confined to an injurious
childhood in a home where they are not wanted? Will a teenager be turnedout to the streets as the only
alternative? Admittedly, for children who are old enough to understand that they are being droppedoff for
good, it would be a devastating event. However, might their current lives be just as devastating or worse in
the custody of an unwilling or abusive parent?
Nebraskathere may have been a lot of wisdom in your first decision. I hope policymakers think through any
potential changes carefully. Infants are easy to place. But what is the intent? Satisfying the demand for
easilyadoptable children? The convenience of the human services system? Or is it child wellbeing?
The road of childhood, as defined in the U.S., is an 18 year trip. I hope policymakers work hard to ensure
that no "roadside memorials" appear for kids of any age.
Update: According to a November 11, 2008 article in the Minneapolis StarTribune, the Nebraska
legislature has amended their Safe Haven legislation
National Council on Family Relations | 1201 West River Parkway · Suite 200 · Minneapolis, MN 55454 · 888.781.9331
Privacy Policy | Terms of Use | © 2017. All rights reserved.
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�
Dublin Core
The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/.
Title
A name given to the resource
N equals 1 blog
Identifier
An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context
n-equals-1
Description
An account of the resource
<p>Hello! I'm NCFR's blogger, Nancy Gonzalez. I am the former director of public affairs for NCFR<em>.</em> I have a Master's in Family Life Education from the University of Minnesota, and I'm a Certified Family Life Educator. I'm married to a great guy named George, a software engineer, and mother to our college age son, Eric. Our family also consists of a Border Collie named Beau and two calico kitties, Shelley and Shirley. I knew I wanted to study families at age 16. My blog is entitled <em>"The N = 1 Experiment"</em> to emphasize that my "findings" are anecdotal and therefore are my "1 person reflections." The topics I write about are based on the family studies field, my own family, current events, memoir and humor. Its contents are my opinion and my responsibility alone and not the official position of NCFR as an organization. I invite your comments!</p>
<p><em>The views expressed in this blog may not represent the views of the entire NCFR organization. </em></p>
Text
A resource consisting primarily of words for reading. Examples include books, letters, dissertations, poems, newspapers, articles, archives of mailing lists. Note that facsimiles or images of texts are still of the genre Text.
Dublin Core
The Dublin Core metadata element set is common to all Omeka records, including items, files, and collections. For more information see, http://dublincore.org/documents/dces/.
Title
A name given to the resource
The Road to Unintended Consequences
Description
An account of the resource
There is a custom in Minnesota-and I'm not sure to what extent it exists elsewhere-but here and there, roadside memorials materialize that obviously mark the spot of a fatal accident. Sometimes they are in the form of a cross, or sometimes they consist of a small collection of artificial flowers. Occasionally there is a small sign with a name.
While I have no trouble understanding the motivation of loved ones in honoring their deceased, I've often wondered whether this ritual is a good idea.
Creator
An entity primarily responsible for making the resource
Nancy Gonzalez, CFLE
Identifier
An unambiguous reference to the resource within a given context
road-unintended-consequences
Date
A point or period of time associated with an event in the lifecycle of the resource
October 22, 2008
-
https://archive.ncfr.org/files/original/43d0158f48ee53f429d137677d683844.pdf
6e895616e21ab7b0da146fdfbf0ae5dd
PDF Text
Text
The Recession's Effects on Families
by Nancy Gonzalez, CFLE
Posted by Nancy Gonzalez | April 07, 2010
The March 2010 issue of Atlantic magazine had an interesting article on
"How a New Jobless Era Will Transform America."
http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2010/03/howanew
joblesserawilltransformamerica/7919 . Author Don Peck pulls
together information from many placesincluding scholarly sources
familiar to NCFR. This article caught my eye because of two family
scholars he quotesGlen Elder and Kathryn Edin (speakers at NCFR
conferences)as well as input from Nobel Prize winning economist Paul
Krugman and other experts.
Peck's thesis is that this recession is differentand coming out of it is
going to be an arduous process with unprecedented outcomes. Some
facets of society may never look the same, from the macro economy to
microlevel family dynamics. It's not over 'til it's over, and we will not
know the fallout from this recession until things turn around. As such,
Peck's prognostications are educated guesses. But this piece
resounded so closely to what I am seeing in my own circle of family,
friends, and colleaguesand what I am reading far and wide. I know one
guy whose company had an across the board 5% pay cut and several others whose organizations have
instituted several days of unpaid furlough. There are deepseated fears that are reminiscent of Psych 101's
learned helplessness. I've heard those around me say desperate things like, "I can't keep reinventing
myself." This is the inexpert opinion of one blogger who's operating from a healthy dose of anecdote, but
here goesthis one feels way different. Bloomberg online agrees with me, calling this recession the worst
since the Great Depression. http://www.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=20601087&sid=aNivTjr852TI
As a 13 year old, I remember the recession of 1973 when my father was laid off briefly. Back then, a layoff
was an actual "lay off." My dad was not out long and was called back by the same employer. Layoffs now
are kindlyworded terminations. As a young adult, I graduated with my B.A. in 1982 in the depth of that
recession. It was horrible. Psych degrees are like noseseverybody's got one. There were 65 applicants for
my first job which was clerical and didn't require a degree. I clearly remember the recession circa 1991
when my husband and I had a new mortgage and a preschooler. I started my Master's degree that fallour
family's financial future was a big factor in that decision. Things were pretty scary in all three slumps. But
this downturn frightens me more. The September 2008 meltdown scared the life out of me. Just a few
weeks ago, I read an account of that week by Treasury Secretary Hank Paulson as taken from his memoir.
He called his wife from work to say he didn't know if the nation would survive the crisis. Then he had an
attack of dry heaves. http://www.guardian.co.uk/business/andrewclarkon
america/2010/feb/01/lehmanbrothersbearstearns and http://www.observer.com/2010/wallstreet/hank
�paulsonsdryheave . I find it fascinating that Hank Paulson's first sleepless night was when Bear Stearns
collapsed, a few months before the meltdown. I was up that night too and have proofI blogged about it.
http://community.ncfr.org/blog/Lists/Posts/Post.aspx?ID=42
Another observation that many have been making is that this recession has been especially unkind to men.
Construction, manufacturing and finance have been employment sectors that have been hit hard, and these
are maledominated professions. There's been much said about the role reversals that this dynamic has
introduced to families as women take on the sole or primary breadwinner position.
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=120146408
http://www.nytimes.com/2009/02/06/business/06women.html?pagewanted=all
http://www.boston.com/community/moms/articles/2010/02/18/role_adjustments
Yet one more prediction is that divorce rates are artificially low right nowthe thought is that people can't
afford to get divorcedthat after the recession there may be a spike of divorces that represent the backlog.
Divorce fees are just the beginning. What if all that's left to divide is debt on an upside down mortgage?
Here is a Washington Post article on the subject, which quotes NCFR members Andrew Cherlin and Brad
Wilcox. http://www.washingtonpost.com/wpdyn/content/article/2010/03/21/AR2010032103139.html?
hpid=topnews
I'm no expert. But I know where you can hear an expert discussion on this topic. Come to NCFR's annual
conference in November. We will have two family scholars speakingUniversity of Wisconsin economist
Maria Cancian and the aforementioned Glen Elderwho will be talking about just this subjectthe recession
and its impact on families. Dr. Elder, from the University of North CarolinaChapel Hill, conducted landmark
longitudinal research on the effects of the Great Depression on families. His book Children of the Great
Depression is a great read.
http://www.amazon.com/ChildrenGreatDepression25thAnniversary/dp/0813333423/ref=sr_1_1?
ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1270655471&sr=81.
Are there Great Depression parallels to what Glen Elder is observing in this recession? Here's a Wall
Street Journal article that summarizes a few of his thoughts.
http://online.wsj.com/article/SB123491027420603457.html . Here is an MP3 interview with Dr. Cancian
here: http://businessmatters.net/2009/10 . Come to Minneapolis and hear them together in an interactive
"fireside chat." Conference information is here.
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N equals 1 blog
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n-equals-1
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<p>Hello! I'm NCFR's blogger, Nancy Gonzalez. I am the former director of public affairs for NCFR<em>.</em> I have a Master's in Family Life Education from the University of Minnesota, and I'm a Certified Family Life Educator. I'm married to a great guy named George, a software engineer, and mother to our college age son, Eric. Our family also consists of a Border Collie named Beau and two calico kitties, Shelley and Shirley. I knew I wanted to study families at age 16. My blog is entitled <em>"The N = 1 Experiment"</em> to emphasize that my "findings" are anecdotal and therefore are my "1 person reflections." The topics I write about are based on the family studies field, my own family, current events, memoir and humor. Its contents are my opinion and my responsibility alone and not the official position of NCFR as an organization. I invite your comments!</p>
<p><em>The views expressed in this blog may not represent the views of the entire NCFR organization. </em></p>
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The Recession's Effects on Families
Description
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Author Don Peck pulls together information from many places-including scholarly sources familiar to NCFR. This article caught my eye because of two family scholars he quotes-Glen Elder and Kathryn Edin (speakers at NCFR conferences)-as well as input from Nobel Prize winning economist Paul Krugman and other experts.
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Nancy Gonzalez, CFLE
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recessions-effects-families
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April 07, 2010